How Do You Like Them Apples!
by wolflink93
Summary: “Apple Inc,” L gasped. “I thought I killed you?” L and Light are rudely thrown into an apple-infested world, where apples rule supreme. Apple Inc, 4Kids, Appleology, and Bill Nye now stand in his way.
1. Chapter 1: How Do You Like Them Apples!

**How Do You Like Them Apples!**

**Basinga Productions**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note but I do own… Cheese cologne it's cheeselicious.**

**Wolflink93: Okay I would like to start out by saying… Why does every anime or book that I read have an apple in it! Or everywhere I look I see an apple somewhere! This happened to me one day at school, where I looked up from a book that I'm currently reading called **_**Twilight**_** and bam theres a poster near the teachers desk with an apple on it! And note, the book **_**Twilight **_**has a person holding an apple for the cover! Then there's Death Note… enough said. This is a story about when Light has a day full of apples… let's read about it. Let the story begin! **

* * *

It was 6 o'clock at the Yagami household which meant that one boy had to get ready for school. 

"Hm, what?" Light mumbled, lifting his head off his desk. Light had yet again fallen asleep from writing so many names in the Death Note. After all, the world won't cleanse itself.

"Must have fallen asleep again, writing names in the Death Note." Light said, walking over to his closet for a change of clothes, so that he could shower and get ready for school. After he was done with that, he started to head down stairs, with Ryuk following him.

"So, Light, do you have any plans to get rid of L?" Ryuk asked.

"Not today. Today I'm just going to relax. After all a god needs to take a break too." Light whispered, so his parents couldn't hear.

"Oh, Light, come and sit down and eat breakfast before you go to school." Light's mom said, smiling.

"Sorry, mom, can't I need to get to school before I'm late," Light said, walking over to get two apples, one to eat on his way to school, and another to give to Ryuk. "This should be enough." He said, showing his mom the two apples. His mom sighed.

"Okay, Light, I'll see you later after school." His mom said, giving Light a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay, mom." Light said, walking out the door to school, and taking a bite out of the apple. As soon as he did, Light had a feeling that today wasn't going to be normal.

* * *

"And that's how babys are made." The English teacher explained. 

"Why are we talking about this again?" One of the students asked wide eyed.

"So you don't fuck up your life like I did." The teacher explained, throwing an apple at the students head. Light was looking out the window, as usual. Until he was distracted by the flying apple, that hit the student right next to him, covering him with apple juice.

"Now go clean your self up," The teacher said, pointing at the door. "And if a teacher asks?"

"I peed and missed." The student said, walking out the door looking dejected. Ryuk was near the teacher's desk wondering where the apple came from.

"I must know his secret!" Ryuk yelled.

"Now, class, next hour, some of you will be going to a new class that the school is experimenting with. If it works out it will be a new hour. So have fun." The teacher said, with a mono tone like voice. After he said that, as if planned by another being, the bell rang signaling students to go to their next hour.

* * *

_Hmm, I wonder what the next class is. _Light thought, walking into an open door with Ryuk in front. For some reason Ryuk stopped half way as if he were in heaven. There were apples hanging by the ceiling, attached to it with white strings. And there were posters on the wall that said "Apples are fun!"

"Is this… heaven?" Ryuk said, awed.

"No it's school." Light said walking around Ryuk to see what it was. The teacher in the room saw him walk through the door, and smiled.

"Welcome, to Appleology, the study of apples," The teacher said. "What is your name?" He said.

"I'm Light." Light said, walking over to an empty desk and sitting down.

"I like apples… Do you like apples?"

"Somewhat yes."

"Good… because you're going to be here for a long time!" The teacher exclaimed, with a demon like tone in his voice. Light blinked and said.

"Okay?" After a few minutes, all of the students were seated, also getting the same greeting Light got.

"Hello, class, my name is Mr. Applebottom." The teacher greeted.

"Hello." The whole class, including Light, said in a mono tone voice.

"Let us begin by showing you guys a video," Applebottom said, throwing the chalk board, that was on the wall, away to reveal a 50 inch wide screen TV. "This thing gets cable." He said turning it on and then turning off the lights.

_TV World…_

"Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill Nye the Science Guy!" The TV blared, with Bill appearing on the screen.

"Did you know… that apples can make… apple juice?" Bill asked.

_Real World…_

Everybody nodded there head yes, as if that was an obvious question.

_TV World…_

"Of course you would know that, but just in case I'm going to show you how apple juice is made." Bill said.

_Real World…_

Light just stared at the TV screen as if it were going to explode.

_Note to self, write down Bill's name when this is done and over._ Light thought to himself, he then looked over at Ryuk, getting an idea. Ryuk of course was oblivious to what Light was thinking because he was staring intently at an apple. Light looked back toward the TV.

"How would you like to go out for dinner sometime?" Ryuk said, sexily, licking the apple. Light turned his head back toward Ryuk to whisper something, only to have his voice stuck in his throat, seeing what Ryuk was doing. Ryuk felt Light staring at him.

"What?" Ryuk said, oblivious to what he just did.

"Nothing, I just want to ask you to do something for me." Light whispered.

"What would that be?"

"I'll get you a basket full of apples, if when I give you the signal you change the channel on the TV."

"Why would I do that? I like watching you suffer." Ryuk said, laughing.

"Because if you don't I'll deprive you of apples." Light whispered. Ryuk stopped laughing, and looked over at Light squinting his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare." Ryuk said.

"Try me." Light whispered, looking at Ryuk who was squinting his eyes. The two kept this staring contest going, until Ryuk sighed.

"Fine, what's the signal?" Ryuk asked, crossing his arms and pouting.

"When I tap my chin twice change the channel." Light explained. Ryuk then walked toward the TV, and stood there waiting for the signal.

_TV World…_

"Apples!" Bill screamed, forcing an apple down his pants.

_Real World…_

After seeing that Light immediately tapped his chin twice, Ryuk saw it and changed it to the food network channel. Applebottom didn't see this since he was taking a nap on his desk. Emrel chef was on.

_TV World…_

"Let's just add a little bit more apples to this," Emrel said, pulling out an apple. "BAM!" he yelled, throwing the apple at the lasagna, making apple juice go all over the camera screen, obscuring the view, with the audience cheering him on.

_Real World…_

Light tapped his chin twice again, with the students in the room wondering what the hell is going on. Ryuk saw the signal and changed the channel. It was a commercial for Cocoa Puffs.

_TV World…_

An orange bird appeared on the screen looking like he was on crack.

"I'm coo coo for Cocoa Puffs." The bird yelled, with the Cocoa Puffs logo appearing on the screen.

"Now, with 20 percent more apple." An announcer immediately said. With the bird looking like he was going crazy from being deprived Cocoa Puffs.

_Real World…_

"I can feel your pain, man!" Ryuk exclaimed, looking at the screen with tears in his eyes.

"I didn't know Cocoa Puffs had apples in it." Light said, wide eyed.

"They do… see." A student next to him said, pulling out a cereal box from under his desk, showing Light the ingredients. And he was right, right next to crack was apples.

"Wait, crack!?" Light exclaimed, looking at the TV screen, only to see the bird crush some Cocoa Puffs in his hands, and then snorting the crumbs. Light then looked over toward the student.

"Wait, why do you carry a cereal box with you?"

"I like my cereal." The student said, creepily, twisting his head slowly to the right until you could hear a crack. After seeing that, Light immediately tapped his chin twice. Ryuk after seeing this changed the channel to a commercial for Apple Jacks.

_TV World…_

It was showing what appeared to be a long stick of cinnamon, with a colorful hat on his head, with long strips of hair flowing out of it for some odd reason. It also showed an apple racing along side him. The cinnamon then jumped into the cereal before the apple could reach it saying.

"The cinnamon wins again mon." He said, turning into powdered cinnamon.

"Aw, dang it!" The apple exclaimed.

_Real World…_

"That is so racist," Ryuk said, angrily, because the apple didn't win. "Why don't they call it Cinnamon Jacks when it doesn't even taste like apple?" The shinigami said. Light, ignoring Ryuk's statement, looked over to the kid next to him who was moaning. The student had a box of Apple Jack's spreading them all over his body.

"Cinnamon." The student moaned. Light stared wide eyed, tapping his chin twice. Ryuk changed it to a channel with the logo Fruits Basket appearing on the screen. Light saw this and tapped his chin twice again. Changing to a commercial for lemonade.

_TV World…_

"Lemonade," a female voice sexily said, with it showing a pitcher of lemonade being poured into a tall glass. "Now with a hint of apple." The announcer said, with a giant apple falling on the glass of lemonade.

_Real World…_

Light tapped his chin twice, sweat rolling down his forehead. Ryuk changed the channel again to the news channel.

_TV World…_

"Scientist have discovered a cure for the common cold." The news reporter said, like a sexy school girl.

_Real World…_

_Finally something without apples._ Light thought, relaxing in his chair.

_TV World…_

"The cure… is apples." The news reporter said, with the TV screen showing a clip where a person infected with the common cold was being drenched in apple juice. Then an announcer appeared on the screen saying in a high pitched spiritual like voice.

"Apples… It's good for yo soul."

_Real World…_

Light was now rocking back and forth in his seat, sucking on his thumb. Ryuk, now knowing that Light was scarred for life, walked back over to Light's desk, returning to his conversation with the apple.

"Now where was I?" Ryuk sexily said, tapping the apple.

"Apples, apples, apples, apples, apples, apples." Light repeated, still rocking back and forth. The bell rang signaling for everyone for lunch.

"It's time for some cereal!" The student next to Light exclaimed, standing up and walking out the door. Light then stood up and walked out the door for lunch. The teacher then told everyone good bye looking out at the hall. He turned back to see that all the apples that were on strings were gone.

"Who took my apples?" He screeched evilly.

* * *

Light, still in a trance, was in the line for food. Today they were serving apple pie with a side order of apple cobbler and apples. Light took a tray and went to sit at his table only to see L there. 

"Hello, Ryuzaki." Light said, walking over to the table and sat down still in a trance.

"Did something happen Light?" L asked, concerned.

"Apples." Light said.

"What about apples?"

"Apples."

"Light, what about apples?"

"Apples."

"Oh do you mean that new class. What was it called again, Appleology?" L said. Light nodded walking up to throw away his food.

"I heard it was a good class."L said.

"No it's bad." Light said, sitting back down.

"What are you going to do about it?" L asked.

"I don't know." Light said, turning around to look behind him, he saw an apple on a deserted table. He then turned back around to L and then back around, to see it on another deserted table.

"Well, see you later Light." L said, standing up and walking out the lunch room doors, doing… whatever he does. Light then noticed that the room was empty except for Light, Ryuk, and the apple. Light turned back around to see the apple on a chair across the room. The light was shining on it almost as if it were watching him. Ryuk walked over to it and ate the apple with a loud 'crunch'. Light stood up and walked out the door to get the school day over with.

* * *

The rest of the day was normal except for the water fountains were now apple fountains. And for math they had to count, measure, and eat apples. Light was now on a bus from school to get home so he could take a nap. Today he just didn't feel like writing names down. 

Light was looking out the window when he suddenly had the urge to turn around. What he saw surprised him. There was an apple on a top of the seat. The apple was 3 seats away from him.

_What the hell is going on!?_ Light thought turning back around then turning back to see the apple was 2 seats away from him. Light looked over to Ryuk who looked back also wondering the same thing.

_What's going on!?_ Light looked away from Ryuk and saw the apple was 1 seat away. Light was now starting to freak out wondering what the apple had up its stem. He turned back around to see the apple was gone, but felt a weight on his head.

"Light, the apples on your head." Ryuk said, pointing above Light's head. Light looked forward and saw a guy with a bow and arrow aiming for the apple.

"Stand still." The guy said. The guy pulled the arrow back and released it. The arrow shot forward at a fast speed, hitting the apple, making it hit the bulls eye that was right next to where the bus driver was. The bus driver looked at it, took the apple, and ate it.

"Yummy apple." The driver murmured. Light saw it was his stop and ran out the bus doors, running home, opening the door, and immediately ran in slamming the door and bolting it. His mom was out shopping, and his sister was still at school, while his father was working on the Kira case so Light was home alone. Ryuk fazed through the wall next to him.

"Light, can I have my apple now?" Ryuk asked. Light slowly looked over at him like he just grew two heads. Then after a while of staring at Ryuk, Light walked over and got an apple from the fridge and brought it to Ryuk. Ryuk reached for the apple with tears in his eyes. Before Ryuk could get it Light threw it to the ground.

"How do you like them apples!?" Light screamed, hyperventilating. After a few minutes of Light hyperventilating Ryuk broke the silence.

"A lot." Ryuk murmured.

"Okay." Light said, walking to his room for a much needed nap.

* * *

**Wolflink93: There you go. I needed to get this off my chest so I hope you liked it. I might think of continuing this story with Light trying to take down Applepology, if I get enough reviews. So on that note, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2: How Do You Like Them Grapes?

**How Do You Like Them… Grapes?**

**Basinga Productions**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note but… hell… I'm not really sure what I own…**

**Wolflink93: I thought that before Light takes down Appleology he's going to go to other places full of apples so… lets do this! **

* * *

"Damn those Apples and there infernal juiciness! I can't get to sleep." Light said, throwing the pillow at the wall. Not realizing that Ryuk was there. 

"Oof," Ryuk said, when the pillow slammed against his face. "What? First you throw my apple at the ground. And now you hit me in the head with a pillow. What the hell did I do to you?" He said, coughing up some feathers.

"Jeez, I'm sorry I didn't know you were there," Light said, defensively. "Don't get your panties in a knot." He commanded.

"We shinigamis don't wear panties." Ryuk stated.

"Whatever," Light said. "Wait I have an idea."

"What?" Ryuk asked.

"Let's go to the mall!" Light exclaimed, getting up to run out the door. Ryuk shrugged and followed. After Ryuk left an apple suddenly appeared on Light's desk, plotting its next move.

* * *

_1 hour later…_

Light and Ryuk were now inside the mall, shopping, oblivious to the apple's plans. They were both walking around looking at stores until they stopped at one unique store.

"No… fucking… way…" Light said, looking up at the store.

"Light, I'm starting to like the mall." Ryuk said, looking at the store in awe. There was a man next to the store dressed in an apple costume.

"Welcome to Applecrombe the place to get your apple based clothes." The man greeted Light, clearly hating his job. When the man said that a guy with messy black hair stepped out of the store, wearing an apple costume.

"L? What the hell are you doing here?" Light asked, confused.

"The apple is the new fashion style." L said, walking away.

"Might as well check it out." Light whispered under his breath, walking into the store. When he walked in Light was greeted with an apple to the face.

"That ones on the house," The guy at the register said, the guy was wearing an apple costume, cleaning a mug. "So, what can I get you?" he said.

"Uhm isn't this a store for clothes."

"Yes."

"Then why are you cleaning a mug?" The guy threw the glass on the ground, making glass go everywhere.

"Why do you got to ruin the mood." The guy cried, running off to the back. When the man ran off Light got a better look at the store. It was just like Applebottoms room, except the counter, where the register sat, looked like a wooden bar. And there were also the same looking apple costumes scattered around the room.

"All you would have to do is know your size and you can get your apple costume easily."Light thought to himself. Ryuk nodded his head.

"I wonder what's in the back." Ryuk wondered out loud, looking at Light with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No." Light said.

"Aw come on." Ryuk whined.

"No."

"Hmm," Ryuk started tapping his chin as if he were thinking. "What if I were to reveal a rule about the Death Note? Then would you do it?" Ryuk asked.

"……..Fine." Light said. There was no way Light was going to give up a chance to learn about another rule about the Death Note. Light then walked to the back with Ryuk following him. What they saw surprised not only Light but Ryuk too. There were people in apple costumes chanting "Apple". There was also a guy who Light recognized as Applebottom, also in an apple costume, on a stage, talking into a microphone.

"Welcome my brethren. We are here to discuss the matter of someone stealing my apples!" Applebottom said showing a clip on the TV behind him. It showed a picture of all the white strings. Not attached to an apple! The crowd gasped in surprise, and there was woman who screamed and fainted. Doctors came out of nowhere and kneeled next to her.

"She's low on apple!" The doctor exclaimed. "Get me some Juicy Juice!" The doctor commanded, holding out his hand. Arthur appeared out of nowhere to hand the doctor the Juicy Juice. Light, ignoring the doctors and their Juicy Juice, walked past them up to the front to get a better look of what was going on.

"I have reason to believe that one of my students did it." Applebottom said. Light looked over at Ryuk to see that he was sweating bullets. Light quirked an eyebrow at this but looked back forward to see what Applebottom had to say.

"And the last person to leave my classroom was… Light Yagami!" Applebottom yelled, showing a picture of Light on the TV screen. Everyone looked down from the screen toward Light who was in front.

"Ryuk, you owe me 5 rules now." Light said, angrily.

"Don't you think you should find a way out of this situation," Ryuk asked, still sweating. "What's the plan?" The shinigami asked.

"To get the HELL OUT OF HERE!" Light yelled, running past the mob of apple clothed people. Though since everybody was clothed in apple nobody was able to grab him with their arms. Light ran out of the store with people looking at him, like he was crazy. But they saw something even more strange. An army of apple people came flooding out of the store, screaming.

"APPLE!"

"What am I going to do!" Light screamed, flailing his arms.

"Psst, over here." A guy said in a grape costume. Light knew he had to trust the man. I mean what could be worse then getting pummeled by apple people. Light ran toward him.

"Follow me." The guy whispered, leading Light down into a wet tunnel.

"What's a tunnel doing below the mall?" Light asked.

"Where do you think they get the crack for Cocoa Puffs?"

"Oh," Light said. "Who are you?"

"I am Grapebottom." Light just looked at the man strangely.

_What's up with everybody's last name ending with bottom? _Light thought.

"You see us fruit people have been at war with each other." Grapebottom stated. There was silence after Grapebottom said that, until Light broke it.

"Why?" Light asked.

"It all started with a Fruit Of the Loom underwear commercial."

_Flashback… Grapebottom's POV…_

"_Why are you always the one to get the good parts." I yelled at Applebottom. Applebottom just looked at me._

"_I'm gonna event Appleology. See you later losers." Applebottom said, throwing an apple at all of the fruits._

_Flashback end… Normal POV…_

"And that's how it happened." Grapebottom finished explaining.

"That… doesn't make any sense." Light said.

"That's what I keep trying to tell myself," The grape clad warrior said. "Let me show you my army." He said, taking Light to a room full of grapes.

"There… just grapes." Light said, picking one up and eating it.

"Yeah… nobody really liked the grape."

"I'll say." Ryuk said, fiddling with one of the fruits. Light started to formulate a plan.

"Grapebottom, may I use these grapes?" Light asked.

"Sure, whatever." Grapebottom said, shrugging and walking away. Light smirked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

* * *

_A few hours later…_

"Where the hell is that little bitch." One of the apple people said, hitting a pipe against his hand.

"Yeah!" Another said, holding a katana.

"Are we going to kill this guy?" One in the back said, worriedly.

"Pfft, no, these weapons are just to intimidate him." Applebottom said. A guy in the back accidentally stabbed someone who was walking by, eating nachos. Everybody stared at him.

"What? He startled me." The guy said.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Everybody looked at the back to see a guy get pelted with grapes by a mysterious figure. It was Light! He was shirtless, wore some cameo pants, and had grapes strapped around his torso. He was wielding a grape machine gun.

"Get him!" Applebottom commanded, pointing at Light, who was grinning maniacally. His army screamed and started running toward Light with their sharp objects. Light rolled out of the way and started pelting them with more grapes. Light shot one in the forehead and another in the mouth choking them to death. Light then pulled out a grenade, pulled out the pin with his teeth, then throwing it at the army screaming.

"Grape Grenade!" The grenade went off with a huge 'Splat!' the whole army except Applebottom was defeated by the powerful explosion.

"Appel carmel bites!" Applebottom screamed, throwing an Appel carmel bite from Sonic. (A/N I just saw the commercial on the TV while I was writing this. No joke!) Light countered it by throwing a grape at it making them collide in the air causing a giant explosion that shook the building. Light then pulled out a katana and jumped on the table, followed by Applebottom doing the same thing.

"This is for my apples!" Applebottom screamed.

"This is for Will Smith!" Light screamed, charging at Applebottom. There swords collided with a loud 'splat'.

_Wait why when our swords clashed did they go splat? _Light thought. Light ignored it but kept fighting. The battle kept going on for a while with grape juice and apple juice going all over the floor. Until Light pulled out his best move.

"Grape rape." Light said, swinging the sword with grapes coming out of it doing stuff to Applebottom. (A/N: Yeah like I would describe something like that in a fic rated T.)

"Bye world!" Applebottom screamed, dieing. Then for some reason all of the speakers in the mall played the final fantasy victory music.

"How do you like them grapes!" Light screamed, lifting Applebottoms' dead body so that they were face to face. Then suddenly, L popped out of a tile in the floor, still wearing the same apple costume, except now it said 'I'm here with stupid.'

"Light, my theory of you being Kira has gone up thirty percent." L said, pointing at Light with his left hand, while his right hand was picking his nose.

* * *

Light then woke up with a start from his bed, sweating uncontrollably. Ryuk didn't see this coming so Ryuk flipped all over the room crashing and knocking everything over. 

"Wait, that was all a dream?" Light thought to himself.

"What? First, you throw my apple to the ground. Then you scare the living hell out of me. What the hell did I ever do to you?" Ryuk asked, angrily.

"But, I didn't…" Light started to say before he was interrupted by Ryuk.

"Shut up you grape man-whore." Ryuk sobbed, flying out the window in Light's room.

* * *

"Ah!" Light yelled waking up from his bed. There were guys next to his bed wearing a tuxedo, and sunglasses. 

"Who are you?" Light asked, confused.

"Were here to… 'fix some things' with this show."

"What would that be?"

"You need more friendship speeches." The guy said, immediately.

"What… why?"

"Were 4 kids…," The guy began to say, moving his face towards Light's. "And were dubbing your show." he finished.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Light screamed.

* * *

"Ah!" Light screamed, waking up. Light was now holding his head with his hands, and sweating. 

"Light, you alright?" Ryuk asked.

"Uh, yeah." Light said. "I just had a nightmare." He said.

"Light, time for dinner!" His mom screamed up to him. Light began to walk down stairs with Ryuk following him.

"Hey, Ryuk?" Light whispered.

"Yeah?" Ryuk said.

"Who are 4 kids?"

"I don't know, but it sounds kinda lame." Light nodded his head, walking into the kitchen. What he saw made his jaw drop.

"Light, I hope you don't mind that were having apple caramel bites for dinner." His mom said, smiling. Light's mouth was still wide opened stareing wide eyed at the table. After four minutes of complete silence his mom was about to walk up to Light to ask what was wrong, until Light beat her to the punch.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Light screamed, falling to his knees holding his head. While he was screaming Light knew one thing, Appelology had to die… But he was going to need some help. And he knew just where to get it.

_To be continued… _

* * *

**Wolflink93: Heh I bet you didn't see that coming. I just needed to make a chapter where Light would get some resolve to face the enemy, Appelology. And please review. And if you liked this story check out my other stories Death Paper and The Adventures of L, Light'n, Larry, which are in my profile. And also i thank everyone who has reviewed this story. It means alot to me knowing that I'm doing a good job. **


	3. Chapter 3: Apple Inc!

**Apple Inc.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note… but I own a Wii. Haha suckers!**

**Wolflink93: I would like to thank everyone who reviewed. So let's get this show on the road. Also I'm having a contest you're going to have to read to the bottom to find out what it is. **

* * *

_Last time on How Do You Like Them Apples…_

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Light screamed, falling to his knees holding his head. While he was screaming Light had one thought, Appelology had to die… But he was going to need some help. And he knew just where to get it… _

* * *

"No." The broker said, throwing apples at the nearby wall. Light was in a bank, wearing a fancy suit, trying to get a loan so that he can stop the devils curriculum, Appleology.

"I need this to take down Appleology." Light whined.

"Well take your sobbing somewhere else."

"Make me."

The broker squinted his eyes. "Fine if that's the way you want to do it." He said, picking Light up and throwing him outside. But luck wasn't on Light's side today. A truck that happened to be passing by was full of the red fruit. And Light just so happened to be thrown in it. Light picked up one of the apples.

"Damn you, what did I ever do to you!?" Light screamed, at the apple, which in response just sat there. Light got out of the truck but clumsily fell over the side onto the ground. Light picked himself up only to see a figure with messy black hair.

"Hey, Light, what were you doing in the bank?" L asked, suspicion dripping his words.

"I needed a loan to get rid of Appelology." Light explained. Light then started to tell the story of what happened in Appelology, only leaving out the parts about Ryuk.

"That's terrible! And now you're scarred for life?" L asked. Light nodded his head. "Well, look no further because I will help you take down Appleology." L said.

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Okay, then meet me after school on Monday. There we will take down Appleology."

"Don't we need a plan first?" Light began to formulate a plan.

"I know just how to do it." Light said, grinning ear to ear.

* * *

_2 Days and several hours later…_

"Now here's the plan," Light said, in a ninja costume that concealed his face. "Our plan is to take down Appleology on the inside.

"How do we do that?" L said, in his normal attire. "And why are you dressed like a ninja?"

"Because ninjas are cool. And for how we do it. First, we're going to go through the sewage system and hopefully find a way out. Second is when we need to go through the air vents in order to successfully get into Applebottom's room, without leaving a trace of footprints. Then finally we take the planner, that is convientely placed on his desk, and screw it up. Got it?" Light explained, looking out of breath. L nodded his head, then jumping into the sewers, followed by Light. When they got there instead of sewage water, it was sewage apple with little tiny caramel bites floating in the water, and you could also occasionally see an apple float by.

"Damn, those apples have already claimed the sewage system." Light said, gritting his teeth. "We're going to have to be very careful." He added. L nodded his head in understanding.

"But why would apples want to do this?" L asked, confused. Light shrugged his shoulders, and trudged on, with an occasional apple rat crawling by.

"Light, I think there's something ahead." Ryuk said, pointing ahead. Light not wanting to seem like a freak and talking to something in the air, decided to voice what Ryuk said.

"Ryuzaki, I think something's up ahead." Light said.

"What is it?" L asked.

"I don't know. These apples are very tricky creatures."

"There fruits not creatures."

"Shut up, and follow me." They walked further down the dank apple tunnel. Until, the three heroes came to stop, surprised at what they were seeing. Right in front of them were 10 apple clothed people chewing on rats that happened to wander by. When Light, and L got closer they looked up from there meals and said.

"Apples." They said walking toward Light and L, like zombies.

"Back! Back I say!" Light yelled, pulling a grape from nowhere and shoving it in their faces. They groaned and started taking steps back.

"Light, let's get out of here." L said, kicking one of the apple zombies in the chin, and proceeding to run away. While they were running, two fat guys, one green and the other yellow, stopped them.

"Come with us we can find you a safe place to hide." The yellow one said. Light, and L looked at each other and went with them. After all what could be worse than getting pummeled by apple zombies. The group walked for a while until they came to a stop.

"I am guessing—" The green fat guy began to say with his brother finishing the sentence.

"You would like to know our names." The yellow fat guy said. L and Light nodded there head yes.

"I am Lemon." The yellow one said.

"I am Lime." The green one said.

"And together we are… Lemon-Lime!" They both exclaimed at the same time, taking a Sierra Mist soda pop, chugging it, then smashing it against there forehead.

"What is it you came here for?" They both asked.

"We're here to stop the evil Appleology." Light explained, with hate in his voice.

"Ah, yes we have been at war with the apples for a long time—" Lime began to say.

"It all started out with a Sierra Mist pop commercial." Lemon finished.

_Flashback…_

"_Okay let's take it from the top." The director said. Lemon and Lime began to start jumping on a trampoline, making their fat jiggle. And in a low manly like voice began to chant._

"_Lemon." Lemon said._

"_Lime." Lime said._

"_These two powers fused together can create the ultimante—"Lemon began to say._

"_Power!" Lime finished._

"_SIERRA MIST!" They both screamed, at the same time._

"_Now with a hint of apple!" Applebottom screamed, also jumping on the trampoline._

"_Why do you always get the best parts!" Lemon and Lime, pointed out at the same time. Applebottom just stared at them._

"_I'm gonna event Appleology. See you later losers." Applebottom said, throwing an apple at the Lemon-Lime Brothers._

_Flashback End…_

"And that's how it happened." The LL brothers, said at the same time.

"That… doesn't make any sense." The LL team said, at the same time.

_I wonder why everyone's name starts with an L… Maybe I should change my name to Lyuk… nah that sounds gay. I'll stick with Ryuk. _Ryuk thought, nodding his head.

"Hey, Lemon, and Lime, can you tell us where the ventilation shaft is?" Light asked

"Yes—" Lime began to say.

"It's over there." Lemon finished, with both of them pointing to a set of ladders, that apparently went to the ventilation shaft. Light walked over and started to climb the stairs up, followed by L, and then Ryuk fazing through it. But they were stopped by Lemon and Lime who gave them both a can of Sierra Mist.

"This might come in handy—" Lemon began to say.

"For your journey." Lime finished. L and Light nodded continuing up the ventilation shaft. They kept crawling for a while sneezing a few times because of the dust in it. Then they came to a place where they could go through which would land them in a room.

"Do you think we should?" L asked, looking at Light.

"Death to Appleology!" Light yelled, ignoring L's question, falling down the tunnel, followed by L. After a few twists and turns they fell on solid ground. After recovering, they took a better look at there surroundings… They were outside the school.

"Damn, those apples." Light muttered. L went over to the door, and with a click he pushed it opened, looking over at Light.

"It's not locked…" L said. Light just looked stunned.

"Just move." Light said, through the door, followed by L who looked around just in case somebody was watching. Seeing that the close was clear he walked in. Little did he know that gleaming in the moonlight was a little blood red apple.

* * *

After a few minutes of the two walking, Light began to notice something was off.

"This is too easy." Light said.

"Whatever." L said, craving some sugary sweets. Then suddenly red lights started to shoot out of nowhere. On top of the lockers were apples, but not just any ordinary apple, they were infra red laser apples!

"How are we supposed to get past those?" Light asked. L had a plan.

"Light, hand me your Sierra Mist." L commanded. Light did as he was told and handed L his Sierra Mist. L looked at the uses label and it read that the Sierra Mist was only to be used for drinking, or getting past infra red lasers. L smirked, as he shook the pops.

"It's Misting time!" L screamed, opening the pop, squirting Sierra Mist all over the infra red lasers. Causing them to turn into red noodles.

"Um, isn't that kinda impossible?" Light pointed out.

"Nothings impossible with the great power of Sierra Mist!" L exclaimed, endorsing the soda pop. Light shrugged and walked into Appleobottom's room followed by L. They were about to walk over to the table, where the planner was convientaly located, just as Light said. But was stopped by an unknown voice.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." The voice spoke, in a mono tone like voice. A figure stepped out of the shadows in an apple costume.

"Apple Inc," L gasped. "I thought I killed you?" L asked, angrily.

"You are wrong L, I survived that fatal blow." Apple Inc, still spoke with a mono tone voice. "And now… I'm back to kill you!" Apple Inc yelled, with a screech he charged with a keyboard. L pulled out his candy cane dagger. The two clanged the weapons together holding each other off.

"Your crappy technology is no match for my sugary sweetness." L said, grinning.

"Yes, but your sugary sweetness is no match for my apple based computers." Apple Inc said, as the keyboard broke making apple juice go into L's eyes.

"I'm blinded!" L yelled, rubbing his eyes. Apple Inc then pulled an I-phone out of his pocket.

"My I-phone can do anything." Apple Inc said, firing a bullet from the I-phone, which missed L's foot by an inch. Light was standing on the side lines wondering.

_What the hell man!_Light thought, wondering if he should butt in. But, he wasn't sure since he didn't have any weapons. Light then remembered Apple Inc's biggest weakness. Light then got in front of L and started to move his arms in a rhythmic pattern.

"01000101010010011010100." Light chanted, clasping his hands together to create the apple symbol, which glowed a rainbow of colors. Light then charged at Apple Inc slamming his palms into him. Apple's Inc knowing that he suffered to much damage he would die, he decided to retreat.

"L, I'll get you back for what you did to me in New Jersey." Apples Inc glared, jumping out of the window.

"Light, where did you learn that?" L asked, amazed. Light pulled out his I-phone and said.

"The instructions in the panel right here," Light said, tapping a button that said instructions, and then tapping a button that said weaknesses.

"Oh… let's see the planner then." L said. Light walked over and picked it up, looking at what was planned for the next few months. L looked over at Light to see a confused expression.

"What's wrong, Light?" L asked, concerned.

"All he has planned for the next few months is apples." Light said, disbelieve in his voice.

"You mean the guy didn't really have any lessons planned." L said, quirking an eyebrow. Light nodded his head.

"Bye, Light, thanks for wasting my time," L said, walking out the door. L stopped near the door way and turned around. "And also my theory of you being Kira had gone up two percent."He said, turning to walk out of the room.

"Wait, I'm sure there's more to this." Light said, following L. After they left, what they didn't notice is that there was an apple on the ground right next to a notebook, the notebook read. "Real Apple Lesson Planner"

* * *

**Wolflink93: I know that probably wasn't as good as my other chapters. I really couldn't think of anything to do so I went with this. And it seems that Appleology has a new ally… Apple Inc. Also about the contest I have decided that since the summary for this story sucks. I'm gonna let one of you lucky readers make one of your own. The First rule is that the summary has to revolve around a quote from a character in this story. (Don't use how do you like them grapes or apples.) I will judge whoever's summary is the best, and use it. Also the winner will get a special preview of the next chapter. So start coming up with summaries. And don't forget to review.**


	4. Chapter 4: Apple Doctor?

** A Grape A Day Keeps The Apples At Bay.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, but I do own a tub of yams.**

**Wolflink93: It's apple time!**

* * *

"Light, its time for you to go to your doctor's appointment!" Light's mom yelled up to Light's room. There was a couple of bangs, and the clatter of papers being stuffed in a drawer. 

"Okay, I'll get going right now!" Light yelled down. Light started to head down the stairs, but not seeing the apple on the third step, tripped, and fell down the stairs. Light picked up the apple.

"Curse you! Curse you to hell!" Light said to the apple. Light then threw the apple at the wall.

"Why does everyone like throwing apples at the wall!? Why can't they just give them to _me_!?" Ryuk yelled out loud, stressing the me part. Light then walked out of the house, getting his coat, only to see a bulge in his coat pocket.

"What the?" Light said, putting his hand in his pocket to pull out an apple. "Why can't you leave me alone!?" Light asked the apple. His mom walked in to see him yelling at an apple.

"Now, Light, remember an apple a day keeps the doctor away." His mom warned.

"An apple a day will definitely keep me away." Light replied, walking out the door, putting the apple in the trash, which was right next to the coat hanger. Light stopped near the door, turned around and got a grape from his kitchen, and walked out the door.

"Just in case." Light whispered. Ryuk just shook his head in disgust.

* * *

Light walked into the hospital and went up to the lady behind the counter who was washing a mug. The lady smiled, and put down the mug. 

"How may I help you?" The lady asked.

"I'm Light Yagami and I'm here for a doctor's appointment with Mr. Tokohomo." Light said, ignoring the mug glass.

"Yes, just have a seat and we'll call you when he's ready." The lady picked up the glass, and started to wash it in the sink, which was conveniently placed right next to the Apple Inc. computer. Light nodded and sat down next to a common flu infected patient.

"Mrs. Chorale, you're next!" The lady yelled, putting the mug back down. Mrs. Chorale stood up and walked up to the counter. The lady behind the counter took a spray nozzle, from the sink, and sprayed the patient with apple juice.

"Thank you." Mrs. Chorale weakly said, with apple juice dripping off her clothes. The lady nodded and turned back to her mug. After a few minutes, Light, was called up to go to the doctor's office. Light walked in to the doctor's office, to see there was a table, and posters on the wall that read: An apple a day keeps the doctors away. The doctor was hunched over in the corner. The doctor turned around to greet Light.

"Hello, I'm Bill Nye. Mr. Tokohomo is sick today, let's get started." Bill Nye said, getting a plastic glove and putting it on with a 'snap', and then holding an apple in the now gloved hand.

"What are you going to do with that?" Light asked, nervously.

"Well, I checked you're profile and it says you haven't had an apple transplant. It keeps you from getting the common cold you know." The doctor/scientist/TV star explained. Light opened his mouth, sweating, wanting to get this over with.

"Guess again," Bill Nye said. Light's eyes slowly widened. "Now turn around." Bill commanded.

"No!" Light exclaimed. "That's just wrong!" he screamed, pulling out a grape from his pocket. Bill hissed, and tried to swat the grape away, but failed. Light ran out of the doctor's office heading toward the door, to get out. Bill Nye came out hitting a button that said apple alarm. When Light reached the door, apple boxes fell from the ceiling blocking the exit. Light ran toward the wall and tried to push forward to get out of the building. But, was unsuccessful. Light turned around to see Bill with an apple in his gloved hand, slowly walking toward Light. Light held up the grape, only for the apple security cameras to blast it with there apple lasers. Light's eyes widened in fear as Bill slowly walked toward him.

"It's okay it will only hurt for a few months." Bill explained.

"NO! Those apples are evil!" Light screamed. Light and Bill were almost face to face but before Bill could turn Light around, there was a battle cry. A figure suddenly came down from the ceiling, with a grappling hook.

"I'll save you!" The figure screamed, throwing a bottle of Sunny D. Bill Nye held up his hand to block it. But, his efforts were futile the Sunny D exploded, covering him with the vitamin C goodness.

"No, an item with a capital D in it! My only weakness!" Bill screamed, as he faded away.

"Are you okay?" The figure asked Light.

"Yes, but who are you?" Light asked, amazed.

"I… am… Sunnybottom!" Sunnybottom screamed, with a bright orange light appearing behind him, to show that it was a hairy man in a Sunny D costume, with sunglasses, and a… tan.

_Another bottom guy._ Light thought, annoyed by the sir names. "Well, can you get me out of here so I can go home." Light said, not amused.

"No, my Sunny D is no match for apples in boxes."

"Are you enemies with the apples?" Light asked, clearly uninterested.

"Yes we have been at war with the apples for a long time." Sunnybottom began to say. "It all started with a Sunny D commercial."

_Flashback… _

_It was a normal commercial, Sunnybottom appears as the Sunny D bottles stunt double, it turns back to a bottle and explodes. Yup… pretty normal._

"_Okay, let's get this done!" The director yelled. "ACTION!" He yelled. _

"_Sunny D! Sunny D! Sunny D!" The crowd chanted, watching a fight between Sunny D and a fat hairy guy. _

"_Belly flop!" The fat guy screamed, bouncing on his belly fat to jump into the sky. The Sunny D disappeared and was replaced by Sunnybottom. But, before the fat guy could land, Applebottom popped out of the ground and punched the fat guy away. _

"_Reddy D, the new flavor of Sunny D!" Applebottom yelled._

"_Why do you always get the best parts!" Sunnybottom pointed out, with a bottle of Sunny D, right next to him. Applebottom stared at him._

"_I'm gonna invent Appleology! See you later losers." Applebottom exclaimed, throwing an apple at Sunnybottom. After Applebottom left, the Sunny D bottle exploded._

"_Nooooooo! Sunny D bottle, I will avenge your death!" Sunny D screamed, cradling the bottle in his arms, on his knees looking at the sky._

_Flashback end…_

"And that's how it happened." Sunnybottom said, tensing his hands.

"Dude… it's just a bottle." Light said, quirking an eyebrow. Sunnybottom grabbed Light by the shirt.

"You didn't know him like I did!" Sunnybottom sobbed. Light decided to get his next question out of the way.

"Hey, why is your name Sunnybottom?" Light asked, curious.

"Well…" Sunnybottom began to say.

_Flashback…_

"_Push harder Mrs. D!" The doctor commanded._

"_I'm trying you bitch!" Mrs. D screamed, in-between gasps of pain._

"_Wahhhhhhhhhh!" A baby screamed, with a bright light emitting from his behind. _

"_It's a… I'm blind!" The doctor yelled, having a seizure on the ground._

"_Somebody get a towel!" A nurse in the room commanded. The doctor started to drool all over the floor. "Make that two!" The nurse added. After the whole 'episode', they were somehow able to find the gender of the baby. It was a he she… Oh, wait, I mean boy. The boy was given the name… Sunnybottom. For his blinding behind._

_Flashback end…_

"Because… I… have… shiny…" Sunnybottom began to say, looking around. Sunnybottom spotted a person vomit out there teeth. "Teeth?" Sunnybottom finished. Light quirked an eyebrow at this, but decided against asking him.

"So, how are we going to get out?" Light asked.

"I dun knu!" Sunnybottom said, queerly. When Sunnybottom said that, the wall behind the counter fell down. There was now a fifty inch wide screen TV on the wall.

"I see you have defeated Bill Nye…" Applebottom said. "No matter… I will bring him back from the apple dimension, when he's done healing… But as for you two… there is no way out… the only way out is the door that is conveniently placed behind me… So, just try to get out… or DIE!" he screamed, signaling Appple Inc. to shut the TV off. After that announcement the TV exploded, blasting our two heroes into a hole that appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

"Go Fish." Light said, bored. Light and Sunnybottom have been falling for hours, playing Go Fish in mid air. 

"Damn it!" Sunnybottom screamed, reaching for the deck of cards, with the cards apparently not scattering because of the pressure of how fast they were falling. But, before Sunnybottom could get the card, they were suddenly plunged into an apple sewer. But, they didn't land on water… They landed on something softer.

"Lemon?" A yellow fat guy said, having the air knocked out of him.

"Lime?" A green fat guy said, for the same reason. It was the Lemon-Lime brothers, spending a relaxing day, using there fat as floaties in a sewer. Lemon and Lime both carried Light and Sunnybottom to the nearby flooring. Once everyone was on land Light decided to ask a question.

"Do you guys like living in sewers?" Light asked.

"It's a great place to vacation!" Lemon and Lime exclaimed.

"Can you show us a route that would lead us to the back exit of the hospital?" Sunnybottom asked.

"Of course we know—"Lemon began to say.

"This sewer like the back of our—" Lime began to say.

"FAT!" Lemon and Lime finished. Lemon and Lime started to lead the two heroes to a ladder, that would lead up to where they were destined to go. But, before they could reach it they were attacked by a group of Apple zombies.

"Apple." An apple zombie groaned.

"Brother, it's time to unleash our secret move." Lemon said, looking over to Lime, who in turn nodded. Lime jumped over the zombies, turned around. They both took a stance that was unfamiliar to Light and Sunnybottom.

_What are they doing? _Light thought.

"LEMON!" Lemon yelled, glowing yellow.

"LIME!" Lime yelled, glowing green.

"BELLY BASHER!" They both screamed, charging at the zombies. They both collided together, creating a blinding yellow-green light, squeezing the zombies in-between there belly fat.

"Quick go!" Lemon and Lime screamed. Light and Sunnybottom started to climb the ladder up. Sunnybottom popped open the lid, and climbed up out of the hole, only to be pelted by apple caramel bites. Light caught his body before he could fall. Light climbed out of the hole and laid Sunnybottom's body down.

"Light, before I'm sent to the ER. I want you to have… this," Sunnybottom whispered, weakly handing Light a Sunny D bottle with a button on it. "Use this when you need it." He added.

"Hello… Light." Applebottom greeted. Light immediately pressed the button, turning the Sunny D bottle into a Sunny D bazooka.

"Whatever." Sunnybottom said, passing out. Applebottom pulled out an Apple-ray gun.

"Apple balooza!" Applebottom screamed, firing the ray. Light tried to press the trigger, but found out that the bazooka didn't have one. Light decided at the last minute to use the bazooka to block the ray. When it hit, Light could see the bazooka was vibrating from the ray's powers, making it glow a faint yellow.

_That's it!_ Light thought, shaking the bazooka. Light it glow brighter, once it was all charged up, Light then pointed the bazooka at Applebottom.

"Shoot the power of the sun!" Light yelled, firing the yellow-orange liquid toward Applebottom. The liquid shot forth at an amazing speed.

"No, anything but Vitamin C!" Applebottom screamed, before being hit by the glowing liquid.

Light smirked. "Sekai wo bitch." Light said, coolly. _Wait where did that come from?_ Light thought, putting the still leaking Sunny D bazooka, down.

"This is too easy." Light thought aloud. Light walked over toward Applebottom's body, only to see that it was a cardboard cut-out! Light ran toward the window to see Applebottom drive off in his Applemobile, with Apple Inc. as the driver.

"Stop right there! We have invincible guns and were not afraid to use them!" A mysterious voice commanded.

Light's eyes widened. "4kids!?" Light yelled, squinting his eyes. "You will die for dubbing even a single anime," Light screamed, turning around to look at the 4kid agents. "Is there anything you won't censor?!" Light screamed.

"We won't censor apples." They said, getting an apple out of nowhere and eating it.

"You will die for your insolence." Light said, pulling out a pen and paper. After writing something down, he put it away, and proceeded to look at his watch.

"Why are you paying so much attention to your watch?" Instead of us, 4kids?" The agents asked.

"Oh, this?" Light asked, gesturing to his watch. After a few seconds of looking at the watch he spoke. "I'm Kira."

The 4kids eyes widened. "Hurry censor! Censor! CENSOR!" The leader yelled, flailing his arms.

"3… 2… 1…" Light counted, calmly. After Light's brilliant counting, Lemon and Lime suddenly fell from the ceiling, killing the agents.

"At least censor all of this blood." The leader begged Light, showing all of the blood on his hands.

Light looked at him, and smiled. "No." Light calmly spoke. The 4kid agents' eyes slowly closed. On March 3rd 2008, at 5:53 P.M., the 4kids were killed, by a fat accident. Light walked over toward the door, exhausted, and opened the door slowly. He walked out slowly, with a limp in his pace.

"Damn, Light, that was pretty brutal." Ryuk said, impressed.

"Yeah, Ryuk. Let's go home." Light said, limping out toward the sunset, followed by Ryuk. Though Light was not able to defeat Appleology, he was able to defeat the nuisance called 4kids. And what happened to Sunnybottom you ask? He was in the hospital for months. Apparently he was allergic to apple… And so begins the rebellion against… APPLEOLOGY! And remember a grape a day keeps the apples at bay… but, Sunny D works good to.

* * *

**Wolflink93: Here you go people I hope you like it. And as for the winner for the contest it was That Random Person. And also everybody please review. And also check out the video parody that me an Renodin made titled Death Note, What Really Happened! Please leave a comment on it since it's our first Death Note Video Parody. But, leave the comment on the video on Youtube, if you have an account. If you don't then you can leave a comment on it here if you wish. The link is in my profile.  
**


	5. Chapter 5: New Jersey API Murder Case

**New Jersey API Murder Case**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. But… I own… Your mom.**

**Wolflink93: This Chapter is for the background of what happened in New Jersey with L, apparently what happens in New Jersey doesn't like to stay there. **

* * *

"I wanna be the very best like no one ever was!" L sang, on the drive to New Jersey, to solve a murder case. Currently they were in a dented, dirt covered, hill billy truck, with Watari as the driver. L was bored so he decided to pop out the Sony portable DVD player, to watch some Pokemon.

"To catch them is my real test! To train them is my cause!" L sang loudly, bobbing his head up and down. Watari clenched the steering wheel in annoyance.

"I will travel across the land! Searching far and wide!" L sang.

_I knew I shouldn't have gotten him that Pokemon DVD for Christmas. Those things are like crack to him._

"Each Pokemon to understand! The power that's inside!" L sang, punching his fist on the door right next to him.

"Pokemon! It's you and me! I know it's my destiny!" L sang.

Watari had enough. "**Soon enough it will be you're destiny to be stranded out in the middle of nowhere if you don't shut up!" **Watari screamed, shaking his fist at L. L after that… somewhat unexpected outburst, decided to shut up, for the sake of Watari.

"Pokemon! Ooh you're my best friend! In a world we must defend!" But, it wasn't L singing… It was Watari! L just looked over toward him, and started to sing with him.

"Pokemon! A heart so true! I know it will pull us through!" They sang, with a bird hitting the windshield. They were driving into a flock of birds. Though they kept singing, with birds hitting the windshield with a loud 'thud'.

"You teach 'thud' me and I'll 'thud' teach you! Pokemon! Gotta 'thud' Catch'em all! Gotta 'thud' Catch'em all! 'thud' Pokemon!" After they were done singing, L stuck his head out the window to look behind them. There were birds of all species, littered all over the ground, twitching, in a giant puddle of blood.

"See L that's why we don't sing when we drive!" Watari scolded.

L ignored him, and started to eat his Danish, that he kept safe in his pocket. "Are we almost there?" L asked, coolly.

"We're here." Watari said. They pulled up to a hotel called, Grasshopper Hotel. L got out of the truck, followed by Watari. After a few hours, of getting everything out, checking out a room, and unpacking. It was already night, and Watari had already gone to bed. L was staying up (Of course) looking at files for the case.

_All of the murder cases happened during the weekend. And an apple was left at the scene of the crime. Also everybody who was killed owned a product from Apple Inc. What is that information doing on a police report anyway?_ L contemplated, dangling the paper with his thumb and forefinger. After a few minutes L knew what to do.

* * *

"One Apple I-Phone please." L said, in a grocery store. There was a lady at the cash register.

"Wrong place." The lady said.

"Then where can I purchase this fruity queer phone?" L asked.

"You can get one at Best Apple." The lady said, pointing to the store that was conveniently across the street.

"Oh… then can I have a lollipop to go?" L asked.

"We don't have any!" The lady said, alarmed.

"Gumdrops?"

"We're out."

"Chocolate?"

"NO!"

"Do you at least have doughnuts?"

"Did you even look around when you walked in here?" L looked around to see there was nothing but empty space, and a cash register, which L was right in front of.

"Then why are you here?" L asked, scratching his head.

"Who says I am?" The lady said, falling on her face. It was a cardboard decoy!

"Damn it! Why does everybody do that!?" L screamed, walking to Best Apple. He walked in, and went up to the cash register.

"One Apple I-Phone please." L said.

"Wrong place." The guy said.

"But the lady across the street said you sold them here." L whined, pointing across the street to an old woman, who happened to be standing there, smiling, and waving.

"No."

"But…"

"No, damn it!"

"Can I have a lollipop?"

"Sure!" The guy exclaimed, pulling a lollipop from the register.

"How much?" L asked.

"YOUR SOUL!!!"

"What?"

"Sorry old habits, I used to work for Nightmare (A/N: Not the band. If you play Soul Caliber you'll know what I'm talkin' about.) That will be 50 cents." L paid the man, and walked out of the store, sucking on the lollipop.

_Where am I going to get an Apple I-Phone?_ L thought.

"Psst, over here." A guy said, in a dark alley. L looked around, and walked toward the darkest alley in all of New Jersey.

"I couldn't help but here a couple blocks away that you were looking for an Apple I-Phone." The guy said. L took the lollipop from his mouth, and started to bite his thumb.

"Yes, but how do you know this?" L asked, suspicious.

"Uhm…"

_Flashback…_

"_I'll just set up my Apple sound device. So that I can hear when somebody needs an I-Phone." The man said, plugging it in to an electronic trash can, and then putting the headphones on._

_Flashback end…_

The guy moved to where he was blocking the sound device from view. "I… have… good… hearing?" The guy said, sweating.

"No human could possibly hear from this far—" L began to say.

"Are you going to buy an I-Phone, or not!?" The guy interrupted.

"Sure, how much?"

"500 big ones."

"Big what?" L asked, confused.

The man sighed. "I mean $500."

"Oh… then why didn't you say so before?" L said, pulling out the money for the phone of the I, and handing it to the man.

The man smiled. "Thank you! And here's your I-Phone." The man said, handing L a black rectangular device. L nodded and walked off, happy that everything worked out.

* * *

_Several hours later…_

L was sitting on the couch of the apartment, in his famous pose, fiddling with the phone, to see why everybody who owned an Apple Inc. product was killed. Watari walked into the room, and seeing the phone in L's grasp, rolled his eyes.

"Why would you want a phone that costs $500? When you could get a Wii for half the price?" Watari scoffed.

"I'm trying to figure out why people are dying from owning an Apple product." L explained, touching the screen.

"It's probably because they didn't have enough money for dinner." L ignored him, and kept messing with the phone. After a few minutes, the sound of glass breaking in another room broke L's attention from the phone. L immediately jumped off the couch in surprise. Watari ran toward the dresser and pulled out a sniper rifle.

"It's snipin' time!" Watari yelled.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." A mysterious voice said, in a mono-tone like voice. The figure stepped out of the shadows.

"Wait, if you're here… then who busted through the window?" L asked, confused.

"I… don't… know." The figure said, also confused. Watari popped his head in the room where the offending sound came from.

Watari's eyes widened. "Nobody move… It's a badger." Watari whispered, so he wouldn't startle the animal. Everybody froze. Then L remembered something. L stood up and walked to the other room.

"L, what are you doing?" Watari whispered. L ignored him and walked toward the badger, and held out the I-Phone. L then touched the button on the touch screen that said: Badger Repellent. A spray came out of the touch screen, spraying the badger. The badger hissed, ran, and then jumped into the toilet, flushing himself into the sewers.

"That was close." L said, relieved.

"Yeah, I hate badgers." Watari said.

"Thank god for Badger Repellent." The figure said.

L walked back into the room. "Where were we again?" L asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm afraid I can't let you do that." The figure said, in a mono-tone like voice.

"Wait, I know you. You're Apple Inc. what are you doing here?" Watari asked.

"You're here to kill me aren't you!?" L yelled.

"Why would I do that?" Apple Inc. asked, confused.

"Didn't you kill all those people?" L asked.

"No… but I kidnapped them."

"They why were there dead bodies!?"

"I really don't know…"

_Flashback…_

"_He did leave me!" A woman sobbed, pulling a knife out of nowhere, and then cutting her wrists, completely ignoring the note that read he was 'vacationing'._

_Flashback end…_

"No matter, you're coming with me to invent new Apple products." Apple Inc. commanded.

"Over my dusty carcass!" Watari yelled, lifting the rifle up. But it was shot out of his hand by Apple Inc. Apple Inc. was holding an I-Phone!

Apple Inc. smirked. "My I-Phone can do anything."

"Ginger bread ninja stars!" L yelled, pulling out pink frosted, ginger bread, ninja stars, and then throwing them. The stars flew forward slicing Apple Inc.'s arms. One of the stars was also able to make him drop the I-Phone.

L smirked. "You're fruity phones are no match for my deadly sweets."

"Yes but you're deadly sweets are no match for my mouse nun chucks." Apple Inc. said pulling out two mouses, from a computer, that were tied together. Apple Inc. ran towards L and hit him in the face with the nun chucks. L though was unfazed, so he decided to counter attack with a foot to the chin. Apple Inc. stumbled back in surprise. He caught himself before he could fall and using the nun chucks as a rope lassoed one of L's foots, tripping him. L of course wasn't going to be taken down so easily.

"Gumbomb!" L yelled pulling out a gun powdered filled gumdrop, then throwing it toward Apple Inc.'s face, blinding him. When Apple Inc. cleared his vision he was able to see he was out numbered. Here stood L with five ginger bread ninja stars in his hand, and Watari right next to him holding the rifle up. Apple Inc., knowing that he had lost, decided to run away. Apple Inc. jumped out of the window, throwing apples to block the bullet and ninja stars.

"Damn those apples and there infernal juiciness," L said, frustrated. "Quick, Watari, to the truck!" They both ran down the stairs of the hotel, then running across the lobby out the doors, getting a few strange looks on the way. Watari got in the back of the truck, and L got the drivers seat. Watari positioned the rifle on the roof of the truck, so he could get a better aim.

"Watari, be careful, were dealing with Apple Inc. If he can make a $500 phone then who knows what else he could do." L said.

Watari nodded his head. "Don't worry this bitch is going down." L nodded, and looked forward. L started the car, and drove away, with a loud screech coming from the tires. After a few minutes they were able to see Apple Inc.'s car coming into full view. Apple Inc. was in his Applemobile. Apple Inc. looked in his rearview mirror to see that L was behind him in his hill billy truck, and that Watari was aiming for his car, with the rifle.

Apple Inc. pressed a button in his car. "That should stall them." Apple Inc. said, laughing. In the back of the Applemobile, in the lower section, a compartment opened out letting sharpened apple stems loose all over the ground, covering the street.

"L, watch out for the apple stems!" Watari yelled, over the roaring winds. After Watari said that, herds of sheep were crossing the road.

_Damn sheep! Wait that's it!_ L thought, accelerating. L was now going 250 mph. L hit the sheep, splattering them all over the road. Using them as platforms, L was successfully able to drive over the stems, without getting a hole in the tires.

"Didn't really like sheep anyway." L muttered, driving past an angry farmer.

"Damn those city folks and there flying machines." The farmer said, angrily waving his fist in the air at L's truck. L was starting to catch up to the Applemobile. Watari was now aiming for the tires of the car. Apple Inc. saw this, and pushed another button in the car. The compartment opened up again, except this time instead of stems pouring out, it was apple juice. But since L had recently ran over some sheep, the wool on the tires were able to soak up the apple juice, not diverting L from his path. Watari fired and successfully hit the tire, blowing it off.

"Damn sheep!" Apple Inc. yelled, before crashing near a forest. L parked the truck near the wreck, but before he could get out, Apple Inc. crawled out of the wrecked car and ran into the forest. L walked to the back of the truck to help Watari out.

"Come on Watari we need to catch the criminal before he escapes." L said, calmly.

"No, I'm staying here." Watari said, sitting back down in the back.

"What?"

"I'm fucking old what do you expect me to do," Watari complained, getting in a more comfortable position. "Plus it's time for my 5 o'clock nap… you ass." He said, closing his eyes. L was about to complain, but was stopped when Watari started to snore really loudly.

"Give me my damn waffles!" Watari yelled, talking in his sleep. L, not wanting to face the wrath of Watari, decided to go in the forest, alone. L started to walk through the forest, looking for the apple criminal.

_These days it seems like Watari is going through PMS. _L thought, walking into a clearing. L looked around to see Apple Inc. across a bridge, which was over a shallow pit, which seemed to go on for miles and miles. When Apple Inc. opened his eyes it started to rain, and thunder. Apple Inc. was holding his I-Phone in his hands.

"L, it's time to end this." Apple Inc. said.

"I agree." L said, pulling out his I-Phone. They both lifted them up at the same time, but before they could fire they were interrupted. A red headed little girl, started to float onto the bridge, from the pit, smelling like strawberries.

"I'm Strawberry Shortcake." Strawberry introduced herself. "Can't we all be friend—_**Bang! Bang!**_" Strawberry began to say, before she was shot by L and Apple Inc. Strawberry was shot in the arm and leg, she tumbled over the side of the bridge falling back, from whence she came.

"No! We're not having any friendship speeches! Fuck you 4kids!" L and Apple Inc. said, at the same time.

* * *

"There on to us! Go! Go! GO!" The leader of the 4kid agents yelled. The car they were in, watching the fight between L and Apple Inc., started up and with a screech, they drove off

* * *

"Damn that was my last bullet." Apple Inc. said.

"Mine too." L yelled, touching the touch screen trying to shoot more bullets. L put the I-Phone away, and pulled out his candy cane dagger. Apple Inc., in return pulled out a keyboard.

"I'm going to stab you with this sugary sweet of peppermints." L taunted.

"I'm going to Ctrl, Alt, and Delete you." Apple Inc. taunted, pressing the keys as he said them. They charged forward clanging there weapons together. L pushed forward and then slashed at Apple Inc.'s stomach, scoring a direct hit. Apple Inc. stumbled backwards in a daze. L was about to slash again, before he was hit in the head with a keyboard.

"I got to take a screen shot of this." Apple Inc. said, looming over L, pressing the F9 button to take a screen shot. L took this as a chance to hit Apple Inc., L kicked him in the knee. Apple Inc. almost stumbled over the rope, but kept himself from falling by clinging onto it. L held the I-Phone up.

"I thought you were out of bullets?" Apple Inc. asked, dazed.

L smirked. "I lied." L fired, and the bullet pierced Apple Inc. in the other foot, causing him to fall into the pit. L looked down to confirm he was dead, and walked back to the truck.

* * *

After packing everything up and getting rid of any trace that they were in New Jersey. They were now on there way to Japan, for the Kira case.

"You know Watari, this reminds me of the BB Los Angeles Murder Case."

_Flashback…_

_Flashback end…_

"L, you can't do that." Watari said.

"Why not?"

"Because the author hasn't read that story yet."

"Why?"

"Because he's too damn poor!" Watari exclaimed, frustrated about the author's dilemma. L was again sitting bored in his seat.

"Can I sing?" L asked Watari.

Watari looked over to him and smiled. "Okay, fine, but only because you defeated Apple Inc." Watari said. L cleared his throat, and prepared to sing the song that every single Death Note character knew by heart. (A/N: Whether they liked it or not.)

"Dare ni mo mirenai yume o mite. Iranai mono wa subete suteta. Yuzurenai omoi Kono mune ni yadoshite." L sang.

"Mada riaru to idearu no hazama ni ite. Gisei no kase ni ashi o torarete mo. Afureru shoudou osaekirenai. Tsuyoku motomeru kokoro ga aru kara." L and Watari sang together, with birds hitting the wind shield.

""Itsuwari" 'thud' "Osore" 'thud' "Kyoshoku" 'thud' "Urei". Samazama 'thud' na negateibu 'thud' ni. Torawareru 'thud' hodo yowaku 'thud' wa nai. Kodoku 'thud' mo shiranu 'thud' trickster." They both sang, with L laughing at the end.

"Watari, you're singing sucks." L chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up, L." Watari said, smiling. And they drove into the sunset to Japan where there next case lays, **The Kira Case! **

* * *

**Wolflink93: I hope you liked this chapter… And please review or else L and Watari will sing at your house. Trust me; you don't want to have to clean up the mess. And just in case you didn't know, the song at the end is Alumina by Nightmare. (How could a Death Note Fan not know that?)**


	6. Chapter 6: Appleseed Exmachitae

**How Do You Like The Apples!: Appleseed Exmachitae**

**Basinga Productions**

**Disclaimer: I don't own either Death Note on Appleseed Exmachitae. (Note: I haven't actually seen this movie… But it looks so retarted I just don't want to see it and well… that's all I have to say… NOW ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

--

It was a Saturday afternoon. Which mean's Light had no school. (Note: As far as I know, since he's in Japan and all!) Light was flipping through the channels. When something caught his eye.

_Is this a commercial for a movie premiere?_ Light thought.

_TV world…_

"If you thought the Matrix was bad ass! Wait, till you see this!" The narrator yelled.

_Real World…_

"Matrix is awesome." Light whispered, to fast for human ears.

_TV World…_

"From the people who brought you movies you've never heard of." The narrator said, with a picture of a DVD cover for Elmo's Letter Adventure, appearing on the screen.

"Brings you a movie you will never hear of again… once this movies over." The narrator said, with the word 'over', appearing on the screen, catching on fire.

"A movie that looks like an anime… with 3-D animation." The narrator said, with a guy appearing on the screen shoving ice cream into the camera.

"A movie that has big ass guns, explosions, and dicks… oh wait I mean sticks… That will distract you from the plot line." He said, with a video of an explosion playing in the middle of what he was saying.

_Real world…_

"That's good." Light commented.

_TV World…_

"And a plot that will keep you guessing… on when this movies over." He said, with a picture of a nerd picking his nose in class, appearing on the screen, and if you looked closely, in the corner, you could see a guy looking at the nerd, with a seductive look in his eyes. "And why did I lie… because this movie some how in some way… involves apples." The guy said, with a picture of guys in suits holding and apple; making thumbs up, appearing on the screen.

_Real world…_

"Damn! 4kids may be dead, but they sure know how to make my living hell. Even though their dead." Light said annoyed.

_TV World…_

"Appleseed Exmachitae! Premiering at a movie theater near you." The narrator said, with the date of the premiere appearing on the screen. It read 4/26/08. "Applebottom production." The narrator added quickly, with a logo of an apple holding a gun, to the head of what appeared to be a chibi version of Light, sweating bullets; appearing on the screen.

_Real World…_

Light turned off the TV, and sat back against the couch. Sighing, Light pulled out his cell phone, and started dialing a number.

"Are you ordering tickets for the movie!?" Ryuk exclaimed, excitedly. Light shook his head no, putting the phone up to his ear. It started ringing on the other line, and then stopped, showing someone answered. Light put on some sunglasses.

"Hello, Ryuzaki? We have a problem… and also—" Light said calmly, with the camera zooming in on his mouth. "—You're in my top five." Light said coolly.

--

4/20/08 1:35 P.M. Meeting room…

"No, Light, I won't help you. The last time I did it turned out to be…" L said, tapping his chin, looking for the right word, from his sophisticated dictionary. "Just plain retarded!" L screamed, slamming his hands on the desk. L and Light were both having a discussion of the Appleseed Exmachitae movie premiere.

"Please, I need your help on this. If this premiere is successful everybody will start eating apples, people will buy more Apple software, drink more apple juice, and with 4kids gone they can rule over the television industry! To put it simple. The apples will take over the world, killing humanity! All construction will stop at the loss of meat and milk! Milk builds strong bones damn it!" Light yelled, pointing to a map that seemed to be dismembered. "Got MILK!?" Light added, sarcastically.

"I don't know…" L said, biting his thumb. "This seems a little far fetched… Oh, well who cares." L said, nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Lions will be forced to eat apples, making the elk population rise, killing them! I mean this movie has subliminal messaging written all over it!" Light pleaded, with a PEPSI-COLA bottle slowly appearing up the camera screen, as Light babbled. "Stop that!" Light screamed, punching the camera, causing the cameraman to fall, with the camera falling in an angle where you could see L, and Light. The pop started to drizzle a puddle near the camera screen,

"Light, I will have to ask you to stop hitting the cameraman." L said, calmly.

"He's been doing it all morning!" Light argued, crossing his arms. "Wait, when did we get a cameraman?" He asked, confused.

"Uhm…" L mumbled, trying to think of an answer.

_Flashback… behind the scenes…_

_L and the author, Gyaretto, were in a room arguing over something._

_"No cameramen! Cameraman jokes are so old." L argued._

_"I have some good ideas for them… or do you want me to turn this into a yaoi fic, no one has ever heard of. "Gyaretto shot back smugly. _

_L squinted his eyes "You wouldn't dare." Gyaretto cleared his voice, and pulled out pen and paper._

_"LxSoichiro! It was supposed to be a man bonding kind of night. Bu, it all started going down hill when they started singing "5 foot long", and Brittany Spears' newest "Spank me baby one more time" song."_

_"NO! STOP!" L screamed, falling on his knees, holding his ears. "IT BURNS!!"_

_"So, will you do it? Or do I have to keep writing?" Gyaretto asked, threatingly._

_"No, that will be fine. You can have your cameramen." L said, over the traumatizing experience. Gyaretto smiled, and looked over to the new cameraman, onmly to see him on the ground twitching in a bloody puddle. Gyaretto took out a lighter, and lit the paper on fire._

_"This thing is too dangerous." Gyaretto said, watching the flames die down. L nodded his head, and stomped on the paper._

_"Oh, you naughty." The replacement cameraman said gaily. Gyaretto and L looked over at each other, and shot the cameraman with their I-Phones._

_"Come on, L, help me clean this up." Gyaretto said. L nodded and helped to dispose of the bodies._

_Flashback end…_

L shook hid head sadly. "Poor cameramen." L mumbled.

"What?" Light asked.

"Uhm, nothing?" L said, looking both ways.

"Anyways… If we let this happen… we will be using apple peels as toilet paper!" Light screamed. The PEPSI-COLA can started floating up the screen.

"Will you stop that!" Light scolded, startling the cameraman making him drop the soda, causing the cameraman to whimper.

"Light, that doesn't concern me. I don't use the bathroom." L said, calmly.

"HOW!?" Light exclaimed.

"I got rid of my bowels."

"WHY!?"

"I thought of them as… unnecessary." L said, eating a cookie.

"Then why are you eating that?" Light asked.

"I just barf it up later." L said.

"Anyways… will you please help me?" Light sobbed.

"I don't want to." L said, turning away.

"Apple Inc. will be there." Light added, smirking. L just stood there, crushing the cookie in his hand. Then he suddenly turned around.

"Let's go!" L said, heading for the door. Light was about to follow, still smirking, till L stopped half way and turned around.

"And also, for punching the cameraman my suspicion of you being Kira has gone up 2 percent." L said, turning around and doing out the door. Light just scowled and followed suit.

--

4/26/08 4:50 P.M. premiere of Appleseed Exmachitae…

L and Light were outside the premiere in fancy suits.

"So, Light, what's the plan?" L whispered. Light looked both ways to see if the coast was clear.

"First, were going to go in and watch the movie for a bit. So that way we can catch them off guard… and that's it." Light said, shrugging.

"That's all?" L said, doubting he was going to live through this.

"I couldn't find a blueprint. And plus I have something else planned." Light said, smirking.

"What is it?" L asked, curiously.

"You'll see." Light walked into the theater, followed by a very confused L. The PEPSI-COLA can floated on the screen. After a few minutes the cameraman started to giggle like an idiot, then the camera started to shake, the shaking started to intensify. Then the pop exploded, followed by a relieving sigh coming from the cameraman.

"Dud, zip up your pants!" A guy dressed in a cloak scolded, turning around and then going through the V.I.P entrance. The cameraman just stood their mystified. After a few seconds the cameraman smiled, putting a PEPSI-COLA can in front of the camera, and started giggling.

--

4/26/08 5:05 P.M. inside theater…

Light and L looked up from their seats.

"Where the hell have you been? And why are you all wet?... Never mind just sit down." Light whispered angrily, gesturing to a seat. "And zip up your damn pants." Light added. The cameraman did as told, he then started to put a PEPSI-COLA can in front of the camera.

"Stop that!" Light scolded, swatting the can away, making it explode on the floor, with the cameraman whimpering. The cameraman then pointed the camera at the theater screen.

_TV World…_

"Give me the Appleseed!" A guy with black hair, sunglasses, and a green mustache commanded, of who was probably the main character.

"Never, Chicken Joe!" Who could only be the main character screamed.

"Now! Sasuke!" Joe screamed, pulling out a machine gun.

"NEEEEVEEEER!!" The only person throughout the whole movie who will have a normal name screamed, suddenly holding an apple flavored PEPSI-COLA can high up in the air, then chugging it.

_Real World…_

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" The audience chanted.

_TV World…_

"Ahhh." Sasuke let out a quenched like sigh.

_Real World…_

The audience was going wild over the successful chugging off pop. There was an emo kid in the back cutting his wrist.

"Yeah! Yeah! That hurt's so good!" The emo yelled. Then 2 seats in front of him was a buff guy.

"Yeah! Yeah! Chug it again!" The buff guy screamed, tearing his shirt off, by flexing.

_TV World…_

It was now showing the same scene… in SLOW MOTION!

_Real World…_

A kid in the back suddenly stood on his seat, throwing his pop on the ground screaming. "BASINGA!!"

Then up front their was the same nerd picking his nose. There was also a kid behind his seat looking down at him with a seductive look in his eyes, licking his lips, he also had a shirt on that read "Nerd Lover!" The crowd then settled back down to watch the movie.

_TV World…_

They both now had guns out. They pulled the trigger shooting a laser bullet. Both of the bullets went past each other, in slow motion. They both missed the target and hit the apple flavored Orville Redenbacher popcorn that was on their belts. Causing a fiery explosion of buttery goodness.

_Real World…_

"It's DISTRACTING ME!!" Light screamed, holding his hands up to block the blinding light. Light then lifted up the watch on his wrist to his mouth, saying the code words.

"Cheez-it!" Light screamed into the watch, then grabbing L and dragging him to a near V.I.P booth.

The floors started to crack open, and release a blinding yellow-green light. The theater was in chaos with everybody trying to head for the exit. The light got brighter.

"Lemon!" A voice yelled.

"Lime!" Another yelled.

"BELLY PUMPER!!" Both voices yelled in unison, followed by water bursting from the ground with the Lemon-Lime brothers on top of their newly formed sewage geyser. They both looked at Light.

"We have done our part. This has required lots of energy—"Lemon began to say.

"We wish we could stay but we can't. So we wish you good—"Lime began to say.

"FAT!" They both finished together. The geysers started glowing, and recessing back into the depths of the sewage.

"Now let's destroy this joint!" Light said, pulling out grapes from his pocket. L nodded, pulling out his I-Phone.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." A voice said from behind them. Our heroes turned around.

"Apple Inc.!" L and Light exclaimed. They could see Applebottom behind him, apparently wanting to make a dramatic entrance.

"And remember me?" Applebottom said, smirking.

"Was that supposed to be dramatic?" L asked, looking at Light.

"What do you mean?" Applebottom asked, confused.

"We mean. That wasn't dramatic. I could see your red suit bulging out from behind Apple Inc.. I mean for bob's sake your in an apple suit! You should've went first then Apple Inc. second." Light explained.

"Like you could do any better." Applebottom said.

Light smirked. "I've eaten potato chips dramatically."

"So." Applebottom and Apple Inc. said at the same time.

"With music." Light said, dramatically.

"No way!" Applebottom and Apple Inc. gasped. "Impossiable!"

"Why? Is it because its so cool."

"No, no one could figure out how to time it so perfectly without anyone noticing." Apple Inc. explained.

"It's taboo." Applebottom said in awe.

"No, matter we will not defeat you!" Apple Inc. said, charging with a flash drive chain. L pulled out his candy cane dagger and blocked it. Then Apple Inc. pressed a button that made blades come out of the sides of the flash drives. They were swiss army knifes!

"Swissy flash slash!" Apple Inc. yelled, lashing out with the whip.

"Apple cider cannon!" Applebottom yelled, firing, hot, steamy, sexual, apple cider, aimed at Light.

"Orange blockade!" Light yelled, throwing an orange at the apple cider, causing it to explode in mid air, shaking the building violently. Causing Apple Inc. to fall down. L decided to take his chance. He pulled out what appeared to be a sugar coated hammer.

"Krispey cream doughnut hammer!" L yelled, charging lifting the hammer up. When L was close enough he slammed it down, causing, for some odd reason, smoke to go everywhere! When the smoke cleared, Apple Inc. and L were having a stand off. Keyboard to hammer, mono e mono, chicken alfredo.

Apple Inc. smirked, and pressed a button on the keyboard. Causing three keys to launch, hitting L in the forehead, causing him to stumble. Apple Inc. slammed his keyboard in the side of L's head. When the keys fell from his head the word 'ass' was now imprinted on his forehead. L looked in a puddle of water left from the LL brothers

"I thought keyboards only had one S not two." L said, confused.

"Only Apple Inc.'s computers have two S's for the pleasure of calling someone an ass." Apple Inc. explained, endorsing his product. "I call it the ass board." He added.

"Ass this!" L yelled, pulling out gum drops.

"Gum drop bomb!" He yelled, throwing them. They flew toward Apple Inc., hitting him causing the gum drops to explode, knocking him down.

"Banjo hero!" Light yelled, pulling out a banjo playing the Iron Man son.

"The shockwaves are deafening me!" Applebottom yelled covering his ears. "Time to end this!" He yelled, looking at Apple Inc.. Apple Inc. shot a red beam at Applebottom causing him to glow red. Applebottom smirked, pulling out a gun, pointing them at Light and L.

"Apple… Cider… Balloza… BANANZA!!" Applebottom yelled, shooting a storm of the glowing red apple cider. It hit Light and L, obscuring the view. When the smoke cleared, Light and L were battered and beaten, they were breathing heavily, and for some odd reason they had burn marks all over their body.

_There's only one move that can end this!_ Light thought, throwing an object at L, who caught it with ease. L looked down to see a microphone. L looked up to see Light hang up his I-Phone. Light then transformed his I-Phone into speakers, plugging his banjo in it, and putting on shades. L does the same, except he plugs in his microphone. Light first starts out by playing a few high notes. After a few minutes he then breaks out into rockin' roll like notes, like on the new Rock Band commercial, followed by L screaming into the microphone. The Apple guys held their ears, cringing from L's loud voice. Then all of a sudden Sunnybottom busted through the roof with a set of drums, followed by a car busting through the wall. The guy jumped out of the car with two recorders! It was Rick the Recorder Master! He started playing them both at the same time! Then Sunnybottom kicked off into a song everybody in this story should know.

"Let's do it!" Light yelled, out for cue.

"I want to be the very best! Like no one ever was!" L sang. With Light playing three loud bass notes. Causing the Apple team's nostrils to start spewing snot.

"These Pokemon to understand the power that's inside!" L sang, with Rick now playing 3 recorders! The Apple team were now screaming from their lungs crushing under the sound of the bass music.

"Pokemon! It's you and me! I know it's my destiny!" L screamed into the microphone, causing the ground to explode, with water geysers shooting from the ground.

"Pokemon! Ohhh you're my best friend! In a world we must defend!" L sang with the team kicking off into a new song to confuse their enemy.

"Aquarius  
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a  
speeding bus!  
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a  
day!" L sang, with a whack-a-mole machine falling from the sky hitting the Apple team.

"Pisces  
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus  
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say!" L sang. The whack-a-mole machine exploded giving the apple team the Ebola virus.

"Aries  
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound  
watermelon in your colon  
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep!" The Ebola virus, then formed together inside them for some odd reason, making a forty pound watermelon in their colon.

"Taurus  
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?  
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go  
back to sleep!" The watermelon then sprayed sleeping gas fumes causing the Apple team to fall asleep.

"That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today!" L sang, with the Apple drooling and twitching in their sleep, everytime he said "yeah"!

"Gemini  
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence  
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through  
your chest!" The Apple team then farted causing them to wake up, groan, and stand up.

"Cancer  
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in  
the mud  
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's  
test!" The recorder master went up to the Apple team and pushed them back down, shoving their faces into the mud, while playing the recorders! Then running back up, still playing!

"Leo  
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's  
face, oh no  
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of  
strawberry Quik!" A tuna pudding truck crashed outside the theater, causing a flood of the pudding to hit the Apple team. Then a geyser of Strawberry Quick shoots up, and slowly rises down making them fall on solid ground.

"Virgo  
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you  
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stake!" Two stakes flew out of nowhere, toward the Apple team, missing their head, but hitting them in the foot, with a note on the tip that said. "You will suffer! Brought to you by Geico! Save money on your car insurance!"

"That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today!" L screamed, followed by the Apple team twitching at all of the "yeahs".

"Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the  
relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep  
significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give  
you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid,  
scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not  
to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true." L explained in song.

"Where was I?! Libra  
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than  
you  
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week!" There was now laughing gas being ejected from the stake into the Apple teams causing them to laugh, when all of a sudden their appendixes burst.

"Scorpio  
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window  
Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak!" Sunnybottom threw a sunny D bottle at the apple team, causing it to explode, weakening them.

"Sagittarius  
All your friends are laughing behind your back! KILL THEM!  
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in  
your den!" L sang, pulling out a black envelope with "blackmail" written in white writing, causing Apple Inc.'s eyes to widen.

"Capricorn  
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know  
they're lying  
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never  
leave my house again!" L sang, with the Apple team taking that advice to heart.

"Time for the finale!" Light yelled, walking toward the apple tem, with them shivering.

"That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today!" L sang the final part, with Light hitting the Apple team with his banjo at all the "yeah" parts which was about… 20 times. Light then fell on his knees screaming.

"Yes! Yes! We won!" Light screamed, cheerfully.

"Yes, but Light, most of all that happened was by coincidence." L pointed out.

"I have to agree with the dude with the diabetes." Rick said, putting the recorders back on his belts.

"Well, who cares as longs as the threat of apples is gone." Light said, triumphantly.

"Well, anyways because of the banjo incident the percentage of you being Kira has gone up 3 percent." L said, with Light ignoring. After that announcement the cloaked guy stepped out of the shadow.

"Heh heh heh! Those are just decoys! The real Applebottom and Apple Inc. are on vacation!" The cloaked man announced.

--

"Kid's get out of here this is our play pen!" Applebottom yelled, at Chuckie Cheese, trying to get the kids to go away. So, he could have the colorful balls all to himself.

--

"What! Then who are these!" L screamed, confused.

"See for yourself." The cloaked man suggested. L then tore the mask off the decoy Applebottom, and when the screen came back to L he was suddenly in a Freddy costume, Light in a Shaggy costume, Rick in a Daphne costume, and Sunny in a Velma costume.

"Holy sweet mother of American Idol it's Hilary Clinton!" Light yelled.

"Plottwiiist!" L sang in a high pitched voice.

"Who's the other one, dude? And like why do I have to be Daphne." Rick said, coolly.

"Because you're the only on with long hair!" Light snapped.

"And can you get into character! We're trying to Cosplay!" L also snapped. Light then tore off the mask from Apple Inc..

"Bill Cosby!" Light yelled, with tears in his eyes.

"Plot twii—oof!" L said, being interrupted by Light jabbing him in the stomach.

"Stop that!" Light scolded.

"Would you like a fudge pop?" Bill said, handing Light a fudge pop.

"How dare you! I trusted you!" Light screamed, tears in his eyes.

"Light, calm down. It's obvious that cloaked man has been controlling them… well… maybe not Hilary Clinton…" L explained.

"Correct, and call me A.G. for now." A.G. said.

"Why, are you doing this!?" Light screamed.

"To take over the food industry." A.G. said, laughing and flying away.

"Dang it! That's all I could get out of him." Light said, disappointed that all of this was for naught.

"Fudge pooop?" Bill said, waving a fudge pop in Light's face. Light smiled and took it, walking off into the sunset… again… man he's got good timing.

--

**Wolflink93: Damn it! My hands hurt, but I'm still not done, time for the commercial for a special I'm doing, that was inspired by this chapter. Roll the commercial!**

--

"A fanfic that's considered taboo…" The narrator said.

"A story that will test your sexuality…" He said, dramatically. "The author of this story will have to face daring challenges, in order to get this out to the public!" The narrator said, with the letter L appearing on the screen.

"Critics say this will blow your mind… literally." The narrator said, with action spy music playing.

"You got the mayonnaise?" L asked, with Soichiro nodding.

"Tomato?"

"Yes." Soichiro said.

"L…" The narrator said. Then it switched to a scene with Soichiro shaking milk from his moustache.

"X…" The narrator said, with it repeating the same scene… in slow motion.

"Soichiro…" The narrator said. It then showed a scene of L and Soichiro, in tuxedos, jumping from an explosion in slow motion, screaming "Nooooo!".

"LxSoichiro the Forbidden Taboo… Old men gone wild." Shows Watari walking in on them making out.

"Stick your moustache in my mouth." L moaned.

"I knew it would happen… but not this soon" Watari said, pulling out a camera and filming it. After five minutes Watari started licking the camera lens for no reason.

"Shocking entrances!" The narrator yelled. The scene now shows a door, being slammed open.

"What are you two doing!?" Soichiro's wife yelled. The camera turns toward Soichiro and L naked, censored, making sandwhiches.

"Making samiches…" Soichiro said.

"Oh… but you never make them naked with me." The scene then cuts off.

"The author has risked his sexuality… just for you… but… that doesn't mean he's not taking precautions." The narrator said, with it showing me the author, at the computer, patting a stack of Playboy magazines, for when he takes a break.

"LxSoichiro Forbidden Taboo… the movie!" The narrator said, dramatically, showing Light screaming, with his hands up in painful agony.

"Coming soon to a computer near you." The narrator said, with the information showing up on the screen, with Light still screaming.

--

**Wolflink93: I'm really going to make this, if you think I'm bluffing. Now, I won't be able to update that much until I get ungrounded. I happen to be sneaking this online… So be happy… and leave reviews! Thank you and good night… And don't forget your horoscope for today.**


	7. Chapter 7: LxSoichiro Forbidden Taboo

**LxSoichiro Forbidden Taboo**

**A Basinga Productions**

**By Wolflink93**

* * *

"L! I'm home!" Soichiro sang, slamming the door. L was sitting in the corner of the living room, in a fettle position. L immediately crooked his head to look at Soichiro with his bug like eyes.

"Did you bring the candy?" L asked, hurriedly.

"No…But I got milk." Soichiro said, pulling out a carton of milk and showing L.

"Soichiro! You know I don't like two percent reduced fat!" L said angrily. "I like the real thing damn it!" The detective added. Soichiro flared his nostrils with an intensity of a thousand burritos.

"I come home from a full day of work...to hear this!" Soichiro yelled. "I'm leaving!" He added, walking out the door, slamming it.

After a few seconds of listening to Soichiro's footsteps fading away. L decided to give a statement. "He'll be back." L muttered. The footsteps came back with the door slamming open.

"Oh, yeah! And here's your milk! WHICH IS UNPATURIZED!" Soichiro yelled, throwing a bucket full of milk at L. The bucket hit L, covering him in calcium goodness.

L then shivered and said. "OhHHhhhhHHHHhh yeah! So sexy." Soichiro then started to babble, and scold L of his selfish behavior. While he was babbling. L started to think.

_I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. I'm a tumor. Oh Oh Oh I'm a tumor. _L's thoughts were interrupted by Soichiro saying.

"Are you listening to me, L?" L then looked at his moustache and thought.

_It's so big and fluffy… and sexy._ L thought.

"Well?" Soichiro said, impatiently tapping his foot L then looked up at Soichiro.

"I love you." L whispered, lunging at Soichiro.

* * *

_1 hour later…_

"That was awesome." Soichiro said, on the couch with L, playing checkers ,when he won. "Now where's my dinner?" He asked.

"It's thawing out in the sink!" L shouted in a low stupid voice. Soichiro stood up grumbling, and walked into the kitchen. Soichiro then walked to the sink and said.

"There's nothing in the sink!" Soichiro shouted, so L could hear him.

"It's in the European sink!" L shouted back. Soichiro then looked back toward the sink and then back at the doorway.

"What the hell's a European Sink!?" Soichiro shouted.

"It's in the bathroom!" L shouted back. Soichiro's eyes widend.

* * *

_A 5 second walk to the bathroom later…_

Soichiro was holding the lid of the toilet, praying that his dinner wasn't actually there. Soichiro then lifted up the lid and peaked in.

"Phew!" Soichiro said, relieved. "It's not in here!" Soichiro yelled.

"Hold on! Let me see!" L yelled back, walking into the bathroom. He rolled his eyes as he walked toward the toilet.

"You need to learn about your sinks." L said.

"And you need to go on a diet you fat whore." Soichiro mumbled. L then lifted up the lid off the back of the toilet.

"It's right here." L said, pointing. Soichiro looked over his shoulder.

"You were trying to thaw… ICE CREAM BARS!?" Soichiro yelled in surprise. "Why the hell would you thaw ice cream!? He exclaimed.

"I was making ice cream soup." L calmly said.

"Then why did you put it in the back of the toilet?" Soichiro asked.

"I thought it would give it more flavor… Like that pickle that I foun—" L was stopped by Soichiro.

"I don't wanna know." Soichiro immediately said.

"Come on, let's go make sammiches." L suggested, knowing Soichiro wouldn't eat the ice cream soup. Soichiro nodded and walked off towards the kitchen. L waited a few seconds after Soichiro left. He then pulled out a ladle and a zip lock bag.

"No since letting it go to waste." L muttered.

* * *

_Back in the kitchen…_

"You got the mayonnaise?" L asked. Soichiro nodded.

"Tomato?"

"Yes." Soichiro said.

"Then were ready!" L said, dramatically pulling out two pieces of bread, and slamming them on a plate. L started to spread the mayonnaise.

"Yeah! Yeah! Spread that mayonnaise!" Soichiro screamed hungrily. "Now add the tomato!" Soichiro moaned in L's ear. L then got two tomato slices and slowly put them both down on the bread.

"Oh yeah! That's how I like it uh-huh uh-huh I like it uh-huh uh-huh!" Soichiro sang. Just as L was about to pull out the ham, the door slammed open.

"What are you two doing?!" Soichiro's wife yelled. The camera turns toward Soichiro and L naked, making sandwiches.

"Making sammiches…" Soichiro said. You then hear the sound of a record skipping, and the scene then pauses with Soichiro's wife's mouth still agape, as if she were going to speak. Light then walked onto the screen.

"Wait wait wait." Light said. "Why would my dad be cheating on my mom with L… in their own house… I mean… that doesn't make any sense." Light stated. The author, Gyaretto, then walked onto the screen.

"Light, you and I know this story doesn't make any sense." Gyaretto said. Light then blinks a couple of times.

"Good point." Light said, walking off the screen followed by Gyaretto. The scene then returns to normal with Soichiro's wife's mouth moving.

"Oh… but you never make them naked with meeeeeee." Soichiro's wife whined.

"Maybe I would… If you weren't such a FAT WHORE!" Soichiro shouted. His wife, who we will now call… ummmmm…. Casandra, squinted her eyes. She then walks over and takes the two pieces of bread filled with the tomato and mayo. She then splats them onto both of her ears.

"They sound like tomato and mayonnaise." She said, looking at her husband. "But, I still think you're up to something." She added, walking out of the room. After the door closed you could hear bread, tomato, and mayo splattering against skin. You could also hear moaning followed by the splattering. L looked over at Soichiro.

"When do you plan to tell her?" L asked.

"Right before our anniversary so she will be in more pain." Soichiro explained, smirking. L smirked, and gave Soichiro a high five. Then Soichiro realized something.

"Wait, why are we making sammiches. You don't even like sammiches." Soichiro stated. L was looking at Soichiro's chest hair.

"I like you." L droned, smashing his face into the bush that is Soichiro's chest.

* * *

_Sometime later…_

L and Soichiro were both sitting on the couch making out when all of a sudden Watari walked into the room.

"Stick your moustache in my mouth." L moaned.

"I knew it would happen… but not this soon." Watari said, pulling out a camera and filming it, after 5 minutes Watari started licking the camera lens for no reason.

"Old man snipper! Will you get the hell out of her were trying to have a conversation!" Soichiro yelled to Watari, pulling his moustache out.

"It's Watari jackass!" Watari yelled, leaving the room.

"Now where were we?" Soichiro said, seductively.

"I think we were at the part where you suck… on… my… bags… under my eyes." L said, twitching his face to move the bags under his eyes. Soichiro was about to continue until…

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Soichiro walked up and looked out the door hole.

"OMFG! Salesmen! Hide!" Soichiro exclaimed, throwing himself over the couch, followed by L. They then slowly peaked over the couch to look at the door.

"What does he want!" L screamed in agony.

"I don't know… But… for some reason… I feel like where we are behind the couch… reminds me of cereal… and a lot of milk…" Soichiro said in wonder.

"MILK!" L exclaimed. "He's selling milk!? Well why the hells are we hiding behind here, answer it!" The detective exclaimed, looking over at Soichiro.

"No dumbass he's not selling milk. I told you where were hiding now reminds me of cereal and milk." Soichiro stated.

"Oh…" L said.

"Open up! There's a bomb in your house! Get out quickly!" The guy outside the door yelled.

"Don't do it he's trying to trick us!" Soichiro said to L. L was just staring at the wall. "What is it?" Soichiro asked.

"I think he's right." L said, pointing up at the wall showing what appears to be a digital timer. "That's a bomb timer." L added.

"Why the hell didn't we notice that before?!" Soichiro yelled.

"It's probably because we were too busy making sammiches" L exclaimed, in surprise.

"Come on let's get out of here." Soichiro said, with L nodding. They both then put on tuxedo suits, and ran up to the highest window in the house their was. They both then jumped out with the timer saying zero, followed by the house exploding. L and Soichiro were jumping from the explosion in slow motion. Screaming "Nooooooo!" The guy then appeared behind them jumping up to them with a briefcase.

"Would you like to buy a house!" The man screamed, revealing some sort of accent. He then opened the briefcase with the pictures of houses flying out.

"No you terrorist salesman!" Soichiro yelled, pulling out a gun and shooting him. The guy then exploded with Soichiro and L being pushed further back into the air. They then suddenly landed on sand with them both making out, while there was tanks and men shooting at each other, and they were suddenly in army outfits. They then took a moment to breath.

"My suspicions of you being Kira have gone up 3 percent." L gasped.

"Even if I was Kira you'd never lock me up." Soichiro said.

"You're right…" L sighed. With them both hugging each other. But as they were hugging each other Soichiro suddenly had a crazy look in his eyes. He then slowly pulled out a Death Note drenched in mayo. Just as the scene was fading out Soichiro smirked and said. "Checkmate…"

* * *

_In the real world…_

It now shows Light sitting on a stool with L standing right next to him, watching an orange TV that had the words "What-if machine" labeled on it.

"And that's what would happen if yaoi fans got a little too carried away." L said, as if he were telling a story, when actually it was a virtual reality being shown on the what-if machine. L then looked over toward Light.

"Light… you okay…" L asked. Light had a surprised look on his face as if he had been scarred for life. Light then slowly began to breath with his breath being cut off between intervals. And then without warning Light screamed with his hands raised in agony.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Light then stood up and ran out of the room with his hands still raised.

"Hm……… Time to eat this banana pudding." L said, pulling out a bowl of banana pudding out from behind his back. He then slowly began to eat it, with him moaning.

* * *

_In the real real world…_

It now shows L sitting on a stool with perfect balance, watching an orange TV that had the words "What-if machine" labeled on it.

"So, that's what would have happened had I made that banana pudding. To think reality can be shifted with just a bowl of puddin'…" L said, putting his thumb in his teeth in contemplation.

"What if I don't make the pudding myself…" L thought to himself. "…Watari! Make me some puddin'… banana puddin'." L yelled.

"Whatever you freak!" Watari yelled. L then smiled as he waited for his banana pudding. The moral of this story you're wondering? Well, it's don't ever make banana pudding yourself or it will have dire consequences.

* * *

**Wolflink93: And that's the end of this. That'll teach you people not to believe me when I say I'm going to do something. Now I know I haven't posted a chapter for quite a while… Well you see… You know what I don't need to make an excuse. You got your damn chapter! So, why the hell would you complain… Now to you L.**

**L: First I would like to thank Wolflink93 for giving me the privilege of being the main character in this chapter. **

**Wolflink93: Your welcome…**

**L: Now to real business… Ahem now it has been drawn to my attention that this story isn't getting as much reviews as it should since… well… I'm in it… So on that note if you'd like to help us with this problem maybe some of you can tell your friends about this fanfic. Well, I don't know maybe send a post card of one of the jokes from this. Or make a T-shirt with the address to this fanfic on the shirt. Really,we don't care how you do it. Just try to help us because well we understand that we have probably a decent amount of fans. Here are the stats of this story as of 8-19-08 6:15 P.M. (Pull's out piece of paper) 1,174 hits 1****st**** chapter 519, 2****nd**** chapter 193, 3****rd**** chapter 143, 4****th**** chapter 130, 5****th**** chapter 118, 6****th**** chapter 71. Now the reviews 22 I will now list them in order from first chapter to last chapter 4, 6, 5, 4, 2, 1.**

**Did you see how it suddenly dwindled down to 1?... Fav 12, Alerts 4. Now I'm not going to name names on who's on the fav and alert list, who have never reviewed for this story. I mean, at least you're saying that you like it. Now if this is pretty decent on what a somewhat good story should be. Then were fine with it, but if it's not then we'll need to fix that. But, please people were just asking you to review and tell us like if were doing something wrong with our grammar. I mean, how else is Wolflink93 going to become a better author if no one tells him about his grammar mistakes. Aside from the usual OMGs or OMFGs... Those were on purpose. And I think that's all I have to say and please review!**

**Wolflink93: (Looks above him) I walked down the street and was hit by a wall of text. Well, on that note please review! And look forward to the next chapter… Whenever it comes out… Also sometime in the future there will be a chapter or part of a chapter that will be dedicated to bloopers for this chapter. (Even though it's funny enough) So please review! And I might do it sooner than you think.**

**L:Yeah and if you don't review I won't smile anymore.**


	8. Chapter 8: Double L Team!

**How Do You Like Them Apples!**

**Chapter 8****: Double L Team!**

**A Basinga Productions**

**Wolflink93: Not much to say… but L would like to say something.**

**L: (Looking at stack of papers) I am thoroughly impressed with all of the reviews that Wolflink has been getting. So, I would like to say thank you. He even got a review telling him about his grammar. Thank you I will make sure he checks the there, their, they're. Thank you and enjoy this rather long chapter.**

* * *

Light was sitting on the couch, watching T.V. while Two and a Half men was on. All was peaceful until Light got the call. His cell-phone rang with his favorite song Another One Rides the Bus by Weird Al. (Read the Adventures of L, Light'n, Larry.) Light took out the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" Light greeted, wondering what the call was about.

"Do you have a Jack in a can?" A kid on the other line asked.

"Why, yes I believe I do." Light said, pulling out a can from his pocket.

"Well…Well…" The kid said, giggling. "You better do something about it!" He added, hanging up. Light, confused, hung up on his line. Then it rang again, followed by Light answering it.

"Hello?" Light said.

"Is your refrigerator running?" Said a narrator, like the ones at the football games. Light then got up, walked to his refrigerator, opened it, only to see that it didn't work.

"No." Said Light angrily into the phone.

"If you said yes press one. If no then go fuck yourself." The narrator said cheerfully. Light looked up to the stairs that lead him to his room, and then back at the phone.

_It's too far away…_ Light thought. Light then decided to do the next best thing. He pressed one…

"If you pressed one because of A your bedroom's too far away then press one. If B because that was your first choice in the first place, then press two. In Espanola press tres." The narrator said, giving out the choices. Light thought about pressing three. But thought against it and instead pressed one.

"Well… even though your refrigerator doesn't work. We'll send you a new one… Because you're going to need it on Iron Chef America!!" The narrator said, with Light's eyes going wide.

* * *

_September 30 6:03 P.M._

"Why am I here again?" L asked confused.

"I need your help to win this." Light said.

"But we're not chefs." L pointed out, before being shoved onto the set along with Light.

"Get out there." The big bulky man commanded.

"Welcome to Iron Chef America!" The announcer said, appearing in a veil of smoke. "Today's match is a tag-team Iron battle … Let's introduce the first contestants." The man said, making a weird/sexual gesture with his hands. "Introducing Light Yagami and his partner… **L**!!" The man said, making the gesture go faster.

"Yeah we are the double L team." L said, forming both of his hands into L's and sticking them into the air, wiggling them. Causing the crowd to go wild, as they both jumped from a smoke veil. Light also made a dramatic entrance by waving his hands around, with a pen in them, almost as if he were writing in a dramatic fashion. (Like Mikami when he stood up to write names) Causing the crowd to go even more wild.

* * *

_In the crowd…_

"That's my fucking son!" Yelled Soichiro proudly, as he punched a guy in the face. "And that's my fucking boss!" Soichiro yelled aloud, gesturing towards L.

* * *

"And introducing the other team… Emeril Chef… and Applebottom!" The announcer yelled. Followed by them coming out of a smoky veil. L and Light were surprised when they saw Emeril with their arch nemesis.

"BAM!" Emeril yelled, followed by the crowd going wild.

"Now time to announce the secret ingredient…" The announcer said, as a drum roll proceeded to play.

"The secret ingredient is…" The drum roll got louder.

"L, we have to win this! Who knows what we might lose if we lose." Light said.

"Also who ever wins get these bubble gum scented bath beads." The announcer said, holding some pink beads into the air.

"I want them…" L said, eyes wide, and dramatized.

"And the secret Ingredient is PPPPIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKLLLLLLEEEESSS." The announcer yelled, pulling a cloth from a table, followed by the drum roll ceasing followed by a cymbal crash. The table had a stack of pickles large enough to feed the entire audience.

"Now on your mark… get set… cook!" The announcer yelled, with both teams running off to prepare their meals.

* * *

_10 minutes later…_

"What the hell are we going to cook?!" Light yelled. L was stuffing pickles in a cake, crying. Light then slapped him across the face.

"Get a hold of yourself we have to think of something!" Light yelled.

"I can't do it!" L sobbed.

"What about the bath beads!?" Light screamed, grabbing L by the shirt and shaking him.

"Wait… you're right…" L said, calming down. "Then what are we going to do?" L asked.

"How about Wendy's?" Light suggested.

"But that's fast food…" L pointed out.

"It's not fast food it's Wendy's." Light quoted the slogan.

"All right!" L exclaimed with enthusiasm.

"Do you have any money?" Light asked, taking out his cell phone.

"No, I used it all to—" L began to say until being interrupted by Light.

"Dang it! Now we can't get Wendy's." Light said, freaking out.

"Then what are we going to do?" L said.

"I don't know!"

* * *

_Somewhere in the Iron Chef America set…_

"What do you see Alton Brown the host of Good Eats?" The announcer asked.

"Did you know pomegranates are like apples? But since their pomegranates there not apples." Alton stated, stupidly.

"…" There was a long pause from both of them.

"Your mother!" The announcer yelled.

* * *

"Look at them. Just waiting for us to fail." Light observed, squinting his eyes, looking at Emeril Chef.

"Now to announce the mystery judges." The announcer said, pulling a cloth from a table. Revealing three people sitting in chairs, on a rolling table.

"First up Chicken Joe from Appleseed Exmachitae! Second the Kool-Aid man. And the third judge… Simon Cowell! From American Idol, the X-Factor, and Britain's Got Talent!!" The announcer yelled.

"What are we going to do Light?" L asked, worriedly.

"…Wait, I know what we're going to do…" Light answered dramatically.

* * *

_10 minutes later 10 minutes left on the clock._

"10 minutes gentlemen, finish up your dishes!" The announcer yelled, doing the weird/sexual gesture. L was shoving pickles into a cake… But this time…he wasn't crying.

"Yeah, L! Molest that cake!" Light yelled, putting a finishing touch on one of the meals. There were also three other dishes done, but they were covered with a cloth (A/N what the hell is up with everybody and cloths!) L, after stuffing the pink frosted cake, which said L's pleasure time, written in blue frosting. Tried to get a peak at what the apple team was doing. Only to get a face full of apple, followed by a "BAM!" coming from Emeril.

"When he goes BAM I go yeaaaah!" Light said like a fan boy.

_Get a hold of yourself Light! He's now your enemy!_ Light thought with vigor.

"10 seconds left!" The announcer yelled, followed by Light grabbing the pan and shaking it, in order to stir it.

"5 Seconds!"

"Easy off!" Light yelled, stirring it.

"4!" The announcer yelled, making the weird/sexual gesture go fast.

"Easy off!" Light said, stirring it again.

"3!" The announcer yelled, going even faster.

"Easy off!" Light yelled, stirring it yet again.

"2!" The announcer yelled, now sweating from doing the gesture. As a man with a jar of mayonnaise was walking his way. Light then flipped the food out of the pan, making it land on 3 separate plates a few feet away. Followed by Light and L saying "BAM!" at the same time. With L seemingly coming out of nowhere, and appearing right next to Light. With both hands formed quickly into L's, and holding them up when he said "BAM!"

"1!" The announcer yelled, making strange noises from doing the gesture. The guy was now right in front of him. Holding the jar of mayonnaise high into the air as if he were going to slam it down.

"And you're done!" Light said, coolly flipping his hair. Followed by the crowd going wild.

"0!" The announcer yelled, as a basket ball game like buzzer sounded. Followed by the guy slamming the jar down onto the announcers "gesturing" hands. Now there was white stuff all over the announcers hands.

"Now the first one to give their dishes is…" The announcer paused, for dramatic effect……..

"APPLE TEAAAAAAAAMMMM!!" The announcer screamed, with the mayonnaise dripping from his hands, followed by blood from the glass shards that were sticking out of his hands. The apple team the stepped forward with their dishes.

* * *

_Somewhere in the Iron Chef America Set…_

"Well it looks like the apple team is up first." Alton Brown said. "And their first dish is… My god… Pomegranate pickle soup… that's taboo…" Alton announced, surprised.

* * *

The dish was now being passed out to the three judges. Chicken Joe looked down at the pomegranate juice, with pickle chunks mixed in. He then took a spoon, dipped it and made sure there was some pickle in it. And then ate it… He then put the spoon down neatly and said…

"It's good… 5/10 stars." Chicken Joe said, giving his rating.

"Wait! Why?! You liked it!" Applebottom yelled.

"I don't like pickles and plus… It's not chicken…" Chicken Joe said.

"What about you Kool-Aid man?" Emeril asked. The Kool-Aid man then took the bowl and poured it into his pitcher, causing him to turn orange.

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man yelled.

"So, what do you rate it?" The announcer asked

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man yelled again.

"It looks like the apple team got an "Oh, Yeah!" out of "Oh, Yeah!".

"Ohhhh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man agreed.

"What do you think Simon?" The announcer asked. Simon took a bite, then stood up with the bowl. He then walked over toward Emeril and said.

"What the hell are you doing in the cooking industry?" He then poured the soup over Emeril's head until it was empty. He then gave his real opinion.

"I give it a it suck balls/10." Simon said, waiting for the next dish.

"Bring out the next dish!" The announcer commanded of the apple team. The dish was now passed out to the judges.

"This is a pickled apple spiced up for yo' pleasure." Applebottom explained. The dishes were passed out and the all took a bite/poured it into their pitcher. The Kool-Aid man then turned purple.

"Is there any chicken in this?" Chicken Joe questioned.

"No…" Emerial said, followed by a pickled apple being thrown at his head, only for it to miss his head by inches. Chicken Joe was now lying face down on the table doing the worm.

"5/10!" Chicken Joe yelled, getting off the table.

"Kool-Aid man?" Applebottom questioned, gesturing for the pitcher of Kool-Aid to give his opinion.

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man said.

"Simon?" Emeril asked. His only answer was Simon using a spoon, to smash the apple into a billion pieces, by stabbing it with the dull end of the spoon.

"It tasted like shit!" Simon yelled, starting to throw the apple pieces at the apple team… Oh the irony…

* * *

_Somewhere in the Iron Chef America set…_

"The Apple Team got the same score twice!" Alton exclaimed in surprise.

"Your mother Alton… Your mother…" The announcer said. Then Soichiro appeared on the screen in a soapy bubble bath, full of vinegar, with a surprised look on his face, and a pink shower cap on.

* * *

"These are some bad ass judges." L commented, watching the Kool-Aid man pour blue Kool-Aid powder into his pitcher, causing him to go from purple to green.

"Is that even possible?" Light commented, pointing at the now green Kool-Aid man.

"I dun knu!" L exclaimed, stupidly.

"Well, L… We're in a pickle." Light said, taking a pickle and squeezing it causing vinegar to go all over the floor. "And what's a picture of my dad doing on the T.V.?" Light asked, confused. "Wait, we're going to commerci—" Light said, being interrupted before he could finish.

* * *

_Commercial time!..._

"Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" The words appeared on the screen followed by a low pitch actiony voice saying the words as they appeared on the screen.

"Come to the kitty cat expo!" The narrator commanded, showing six kittens in a bowl.

"We have popcorn, cake, and ICE CREAAAM!!" The narrator yelled, showing that scoops of ice cream were being placed on the kittens as they mewed.

"Though we don't have many kittens, we have ICE CREAAAAM!!" The narrator screamed, now showing the kittens being beat to death by a hammer, that suddenly appeared on screen, causing the bowl to now be filled with ice cream, fur, and lots of blood. As they mewed in agony!

"I scream for ICE CREAAAAM!" It then showed a fat kid sitting down at a table eating ice cream, in slow motion, as the colors inverted.

* * *

_Commercial time over…_

The next three dishes had already been passed out and Emeril was explaining what it was.

"This is my famous apple pie that has been filled to the brim with pickle juice, bear claws, and salted peanuts." The pie that was explained by Emeril look like a normal pie… except that black goo was oozing from the sides and pooling around the foretold pie. And there were little boils that were bubbling and then popping, with green liquid pooling with it. The minute it was to Chicken Joe he immediately slapped off it off the table, with a passive look on his face. He then gave his rating.

"5/10…" Chicken Joe said, putting his head down. The Kool-Aid man then poured it into his pitcher, it then dissolved as it hit the kool-aid. Nothing happened for a few minutes. Until the liquid then suddenly glowed with a bright white light within milliseconds. The Kool-Aid man was now spazzing out on the floor, he was flailing his arms and legs as if he were having a seizure. After five minutes the bright liquid died down. With the Kool-Aid man standing up looking drowsy. As he stood up, everyone noticed that the left side of his body was yellow, while the other side was a dark blue.

"Well, Kool-Aid man… What do you rate it?" The announcer asked. Everything was quiet as the Kool-Aid man gave his ultimate judgement. The Kool-Aid man had closed his eyes in thought. He then breathed and opened his eyes.

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man said, practically beaming. And the crowd went wild. After a few minutes the crowd died down to see what Simon had to say.

"Well, Simon?" The announcer questioned. "What do you think?" The announcer added. Simon then took a bite out of the pie, stood up, with the pie in hand, and walked over toward Emeril. Simon held up the pie as if he were going to smash it in his face. But in a quick motion, he put the pie on the table, face up. Grabbed Emeril by the back of the head, got behind him and slammed his face into the pie, and squishing it even more. So, that Emeril couldn't breathe.

"Eat the pie, honky!! EAT IT!" Simon yelled, lifting his head up and slamming it back down. "BAM that! Bitch!" Simon yelled, going back and sitting down. Emeril then got up and spat the pie out of his mouth then going down and taking a nap on another table. Followed by Applebottom going and sitting under the table.

"Looks like the Apple Team got the same score again! Now let's see if the Double L team can do any better. Chefs! Bring out your dishes!" The announcer announced as they brought out the first dish. They sat the dishes in front of the judges, then removed the cloth to show there food. L then started to explain their first dish.

"A pickled steak, complete with bacon, Canadian bacon, French bacon, and frosting." Chicken Joe with his head still down just swiped the plate off the table. The Kool-Aid man the poured it into his pitcher, causing him to turn blue-green.

"5/10…" Chicken Joe stated.

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man gave his rating. Simon then took a bite and prepared to give his opinion. The room went quiet waiting for him to say something.

"You… are… Kira…" Simon said.

"Ha! I knew it!" L exclaimed, pulling out hand cuffs. "I caught you red handed."

"You're Kira… For trying to kill me with such disgusting and dickish food. You both should be the double Kira team instead of the double L team." Simon commented.

"Damn it!" L yelled, disappointed that Light wasn't Kira.

"They got the same rating as the Apple Team… interesting…" The announcer said. As the double L team went to get the next dish Chicken Joe said.

"My left eye is watering." Chicken Joe tried to wipe the tears away.

"Do you have allergies?" The Kool-Aid man asked.

"Yes, why? Is it allergy season?" Chicken Joe asked.

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man said.

"Is that all you say besides "do you have allergies?"" Chicken Joe asked.

"Oh, yeah!" Kool-Aid man answered. As the next dish was brought out with L explaining what it was.

"Pickled eggs, with salt, and a side order of clams." L explained.

"Chicken?" Chicken Joe asked.

"You know what… Screw it! 5/10, Oh yeah, and taste like shit right?" Light yelled.

"No, it tastes like… dick!" Simon yelled back. Soichiro then sprung from the audience, grabbing Simon by the neck.

"C'mon, kill me you dick!" Simon spat in his face. Body guards came up and pulled Soichiro away.

"I hope you die of milk poisoning!" Soichiro angrily yelled. Simon then sat down and dusted himself off.

"That was a bedroom performance." Simon said, as if nothing had happened. The Double L team then passed out the final dish.

"This is a pink frosted cake. Sponsored by L's pleasure time. This cake is filled to the brim with pickles, pineapple, fish entrails, and I think I might have shoved in a Victoria Secret magazine." L said in thought. "Oh… Well… Enjoy!" L added, with them taking a bite.

"Tastes like chicken… But it's still not chicken… 5/10." Chicken Joe said. The Kool-Aid man poured it into his pitcher. He had turned from the previously mentioned color to black.

"Oh, yeah!" The Kool-Aid man exclaimed.

"Simon?" L questioned. Simon had his eyes closed in thought. He suddenly opened them and said.

"2… out of 10." Simon said.

* * *

_Somewhere on the American Chef Set…_

"My god… Simon actually gave a rating… How can this be!?" Alton yelled, surprised.

"Your mother, Alton! YOUR MOTHER!" The announcer yelled, also surprised.

* * *

_On the American Chef Set…_

"How's that possible!" Light thought aloud.

"Remember when I told you I didn't have any money to afford Wendy's?..." L asked

"Yeah?" Light said, confused.

_Flashback…_

"_Wait… you're right…" L said, calming down. "Then what are we going to do?" L asked._

_"How about Wendy's?" Light suggested._

_"But that's fast food…" L pointed out._

_"It's not fast food it's Wendy's." Light quoted the slogan._

_"All right!" L exclaimed with enthusiasm._

_"Do you have any money?" Light asked, taking out his cell phone._

_"No, I used it all to—" L began to say until being interrupted by Light._

_"Dang it! Now we can't get Wendy's." Light said, freaking out._

_Flashback end…_

"I lied." L said, grinning.

"You're pulling my leg." Light said, squinting his eyes. As L pulled on his pant legs.

"Yeah, you're right I am." L said, being serious. "You know when I went to go take a bathroom break, before we went on stage?" L asked.

"Yes, but for the readers let's do a flashback." Light suggested with L agreeing.

_Flashback…_

_L and Light were behind the scenes, waiting to go out. Until the silence was broken._

_"I have to go take a shit." L said, turning toward Light. Who just stood there._

_"Then go take a shit, dumb ass." Light said._

* * *

_L walking to the bathroom… L's POV…_

_I was walking down the hall, when I had the sudden urge to start sneaking. When I did I saw a room where the three judges were being sat at a rolling table. I noticed that the three judges were Chicken Joe, Kool-Aid man, and Simon Cowell._

_"Simon Cowell's going to be hard to please…" I said watching as they got covered in a cloth, and then being rolled away. I thought that it was strange that they were being covered in a cloth but I digressed. I snuck along the walls waiting for the table to stop rolling, when it did I ran up, and in a quick motion, I pulled up the cloth and went under it._

_"Psst, Simon! I have a proposition for you." I whispered, getting his attention._

_"That was a bedroom performance." He said to me._

_"Oh, yeah!" Kool-Aid man said._

_"Shut up you red liquid fat ass!" Simon scolded the Kool-Aid man._

_"Oh yeah…" The Kool-Aid man said, now depressed._

_"So, What do you want?" Simon said to me._

_"I want to bribe you. So, how much money do you want?" I asked, digging through my pant pockets._

_"How much you got, dick?" Simon asked._

_"Twenty dollars, you know…enough for three chicken sandwiches from Wendy's…" I answered. But, I wouldn't have realized the irony until later when you asked for the money… for Wendy's_

_"Give me!" Simon commanded, grabbing the money from my hand. I then ran away to go take a much needed shit._

_Flashback end…_

"So, yeah… It turns out you can bribe Simon." L stated.

"Why you sneaky son of a badger!" Light exclaimed, smiling.

"And the winners are…" The announcer announced, being handed an envelope, opening it, then reading it.

"The Double L team!" Light and L then ran up, with the Kool-Aid man yelling "Oh, Yeah!" over and over as they ran.

"What are you going to do now that you won the bubble gum scented bath beads." The announcer asked.

"I'm gonna go take a bath!" L yelled, happily holding up the beads.

* * *

_Somewhere in the Iron Chef American Set…_

"Well you heard it folks the L's have claimed victory this evening. This is Alton Brown signing off." The show then stopped rolling as the credits rolled.

* * *

_Somewhere in the U.S.A…_

"How could you fail me Emeril and Applebottom! We could have taken over the culinary world if you hadn't failed!" A.G. the leader of the Apples said.

"We're sorry but that Light and L had to show up with their faggot hair!" Applebottom yelled in frustration and anger.

"They were not chefs so that means that somebody must have contacted them to stop us. And from my deductions it's someone from the Food Network Channel. Good thing I saw this coming… Applebottom and Emeril begin phase 2."

"Yes sir!" They both saluted, and then left the hideout.

* * *

_In L's bathroom..._

"I'm gonna smell like bubble gum!" L sung in the shower. But, for some reasone one of the beads were flashing a bright red. L saw this and picked up, and then opened it to find something disturbing.

"It's a tracking device… shit!" L cursed. The shower door was then suddenly slammed opened with L screaming, and covering his body parts.

"Dude what the hell! I'm still in the shower!" L yelled, pulling out his I-Phone, that was being used as the shower nozzle. L then quickly texted Light before being grabbed by the mystery man.

"Dude can I at least get my clothes!?" L yelled.

"Okay fine!" The mystery man grumbled. L then sexily started to put his clothes on. Making the man all—

* * *

_Commercial time…_

"Reasols! We have oranges, bananas, pork chops, pickles, a cockroach infestation, and a new drug that's being sold on the streets, is now being sold in stores! This drug is called Nyquil. For you suicidals out there an over dosage of this will make you drowsy… forever." The guy advertised, as all the things he mention were shown on a table, all of them stacked. Including the cockroach infestation.

"So, buy now!" The guy commanded, as the jingle that was like Reasor's sounded.

"Reasols the wrong place, at the wrong time!... Reasols!" The chorus sang.

* * *

Light was sitting on the couch watching two and a half men. When his phone rang signaling he head a text message, with the song Everything You Know Is Wrong by Weird Al was blaring out of the phone. Light looked at his phone and read aloud.

"StalkerX59: Swing your arms from side to side come on everybody do the Mario!" Light read, with him texting back.

"ApplesMustDie77: Hey man what's going on?"

"StalkerX59: Nothin… Hey did you get that thing I sent ya?!"

"ApplesMustDie77: Yeah, I'm holding it right now." Light then pulled out a 12 inch long, 6 inch wide, box.

"Sexycandy34: Hey Light!"

"ApplesMustDie77: Hey L, what are you doing?"

"Sexycandy34: Okay Light I don't have time to chat."

"ApplesMustDie77: Fine honkey! Maybe I don't have time either!"

"Sexycandy34: Light I don't have time someone's in my bathroom. I think he's from the apple organization."

"ApplesMustDie77: Oh is he trying to kidnap you now?"

"Sexycandy34: Yeah :(…"

"ApplesMustdDe77: Well did you get that thing I sent ya?"

"Sexycandy34: What!? No! Why do you keep asking me that!? There never is a thing! I never get the thing! What the fuck is the "thing"?

"ApplesMustDie77: :( why you have to be that way…

"Sexycandy34: I'm sorry… (sigh) and yes I got it…"

"ApplesMustDie77: So do you know where he'll be taking you?

"Sexycandy34: ….No I'll ask… hold on…"

"Sexycandy34: He won't tell.

"ApplesMustDie77: LOL you're screwed. Anyways where is he taking you to eat on the way there?" Light waited 10 seconds but there wasn't a response.

"ApplesMustDie77: You there?"

"Sexycandy34: Yeah I was just putting on my clothes."

"SonicTheHedgehog: Hey guy's what's going on!"

"ApplesMustDie77:Stop texting me you faggot!"

"SonicTheHedgehog: You're too slow! You're too slow! You're too slow! Come on step it up! Come on step it up!" (SonicTheHedgehod has logged off)

"ApplesMustDie77: Finally!... So what ya wearin?"

"Sexycandy34: You know the usual… plain white tee, and some blue jeans."

"ApplesMustDie77: So, where's he taking you to eat?"

"Sexycandy34: Wendy's…"

"ApplesMustDie77: WTF! OMFG NO FAIR! WHY CAN'T I BE KIDNAPPED!?"

"Sexycandy34: Well 54P89TYGV4U3YIHT34809IITO449945794876945:970--/.,..,..,.QSA?22"

"ApplesMustDie77: WTF…"

"Sexycandy34: Sorry I accidentally pressed the shower function. Which caused my I-Phone to spray water in my face causing me to freak out and press all the letters……….LOL….."

"ApplesMustDie77: Wow those I-Phones can do anything."

"Sexycandy34: Yeah it even has a built in candy dispenser function."

"ApplesMustDie77: He let's use the web cam function." Light then pressed a button on his I-Phone. Causing him to appear on the screen in a box on the left side of the screen, with a large rectangle at the bottom. Then L's had appeared on the right side of the screen. And everything was night vision green. They both then started to talk.

"Dude, this is sweet. Though I wish everything wan't green… or that it didn't make my face look so gruff." Light said.

"Yeah I wish it didn't do that either. It reminds me of a game called Iron Bolt Liquid. You know with that bad ass guy name Blake." L commented.

"Never heard of it… I think you got the name wrong… It's Aluminum Screw Gas! And his name was Jake." Light argued.

"No it was—" L was about to say something until that T.V. fuzz appeared all over L's box, with it cutting out the transmission.

"L…L… SNAAAAKKKKEEEE!!" Light screamed.

_To be continued…_

* * *

**Wolflink93: Will Light figure out where L is. What is the name of that game? And what is the "thing"? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z( plays Dragon Ball theme thing after they announce the episode title) Oh wait! (Record skips) I mean How Do You Like Them Apples! (Plays Dragon Ball theme again) And Review. Also to let you know I have already started to work on the next chapter. So, review to make me post it faster.**


End file.
